XLII

By the looks of the guy it was a 50/50 shot he was a flamer. Black leather pants, black leather vest, black tie complete with the black eye liner and a hint of black lip stick. The only way this guy could have been more black was if he was black. It wasn't until he got in my cab and said, "can you take me to THE Hotel?" that I knew for sure. Considering Krave is at Planet Hollywood, it's a wonder I don't pick up more gays there.

It was Memorial Day weekend and surprisingly busy on the strip so I decided to take Harmon east to Koval and take that straight to Mandalay. We didn't get very far on Harmon before he asked,

Are there any good after hours places going on right now?

I glanced at the clock reading 2:13 and had to think about it. I'd forgot all kinds of shit not thinking about work for a month, least of which are the nightly, equally poser and drug friendly post parties. That may be the best part about the cab driving gig is that it's impossible to take your job home with you. The only time I ever think about work when I'm not hacking is when somebody wants to hear a story. The answer finally came to me.

Drais at Barbary Coast is still probably the most popular now. Wait, it's Bills now. You could go to Seamless which is a strip club but it becomes an after hours club after 2. They have decent house there. Or maybe Penthouse might be better. That's kind of the same thing but they have separate rooms. Their DJ's are hit and miss though.

I said. After that it dawned on me that I was already eluding to the fact that I knew he was gay.

But they have girls there right?

Yeah anywhere you go will have girls.

Are there any guy clubs?

Gipsy is probably the best place. I think they are open till 4 or later if they keep busy.

Is it far?

Close. Just up the road here by the Hard Rock.

What about bathhouses, are there any of those?

Like, for guys?

Yeah

There is a spot over by the Hilton called the Apollo. It's pretty popular I've dropped off there many times.

We approached Koval and he contemplated his future.

Shit, just take me to that club. Gipsy you called it?

Yep.

Ok yeah, take me there. Sorry.

It's your dime.

We caught the green at Koval and went straight through it. Shortly thereafter he said

I'm not quite ready for bed ya know? But man my fiance' is going to be pissed.

You're engaged?

Yeah.

Well fuck it man. It's Vegas right?

We passed the newly revamped and sharp looking Hark Rock and made the right turn onto Paradise. We were a block short of the Gipsy club when he said

Ya know what, can you take me to THE Hotel? Sorry.

It's your dime.

I sped up and luckily caught the green at Naples as we passed Gipsy. I didn't want him to see it and change his mind again at the last instant. There was something a little off about this guy and I wasn't quite sure what it was. It might've seemed like he was drunk but this isn't my first rodeo. I know better. I was certain he was on something but couldn't figure what it was. Maybe he was ADD or it's possible that he was simply a dumb shit. This had occurred to me. At least he didn't mean any harm.

We made the right hand turn onto Tropicana and he began telling me about his life in Chicago and that of the wonderful world of advertising. Not a thing about it was interesting if you want the truth. The only thing that I found interesting up to this point was a certain comment about a fiance'. A few minutes passed and we made the left turn onto Koval and crept through the 25MPH zone and those big S-curves. That mile stretch of road is a haven for motorcycle cops. If you get a ticket there you are either a rookie, a tourist or retarded. Everytime I go through there I think about the time when I was loaded, east bound on Reno going to the Desert Rose there on Duke Ellington. As soon as I rounded the bend that day I seen the bike cop parked behind the Desert Rose sign. It didn't matter because I had it right at 25 when I came around the corner. After I dropped of my passengers I followed the driveway and pulled up to where the officer was parked and said "Yeah I seen you there sir". He looked at me and said "congratulations". I thought it was hilarious. An old friend of mine says a sarcastic well placed congratulations from time to time that always cracks me up. We were 100ft from crossing over the BLVD when my rainbow passenger said

How far is Gipsy?

We passed it already.

I sighed.

Five minutes ago. It's back by the Hard Rock like I said.

And what about the bathhouse? Where is it?

I told you, it's over by the Hilton.

Ok. Take me there.

To the bathhouse?

Yeah. Sorry.

It's your dime man.

We made a U-turn and started back through the S-curves again. Fuck it I finally thought. Glad that this idiot extended his ride and knowing there was no way he was going to be offended, I finally caved

Say, can I ask you a question?

Ok

You said you're engaged right? Is your fiance' a guy or a girl?

She's a girl.

Really? So she knows whats up or how does that work?

She knows whats up. But she wouldn't like me out here fooling around right now that's for sure. She's cool though, we have a good time. I just suck her dick and she just sucks my mine. That's all we do. But she's really good at it. I'm pretty fucking good at it too.

Right on.

This man just dropped some dope lyrics and told me that he likes to suck his girlfriends dick, and a "right on" was all I had. I was trying not to laugh. Right on bro, high five. I challenge anyone to come up with a workable retort to this*. It's impossible. Northbound on Koval we passed Flamingo and Winnick nearing our right turn onto Sands.

Have you ever been to Gipsy?

He said.

Nah. Not my scene ya know?

You've never been? Never once?

I realized what was really being asked.

Nope. Definitely not my thing. I'm an easy going guy, and I don't judge whatever whomever's deal is, I'm just on the other side of the fence.

We've already made our left turn onto Paradise, well on our way to Karen and I found my easy going bit in trouble because the next 3 minutes the gay spent explaining how good of a dick his "girlfriend" sucked. Then the fourth minute was consumed by how good of a dick he sucked. Enthralling, really. So much that I won't even try and replicate it here. It wasn't long before we were in front on the Hilton stuck at a red light at Riviera Drive and he said

How far is Gipsy?

He said it in a manner that made me believe this was the first time he had the idea.

I've told you man. Twice. And, we passed it, once. It's right by the Hard Cock. About 3 miles south of here. On this very road behind you.

Ok. Take me there. Sorry.

Are you serious chief?

I get nervous going to those bathhouses. You never know what you're going to get. I always get stuck with some weirdo in those places.

Yeah...I know what you mean.

Do you want me to sit up front and keep you company?

What? No! I'm straight, I told you.

Obviously his sarcasm meter was broken.

Yeah but I could just take care of you. I'd love to suck your dick. I'll bet your lady doesn't do a very good job does she? No she doesn't. You probably have a big one too don't you? ....you'd never know.

I wouldn't know that a dude sucking my dick? I'm pretty sure I would know. That's the kind of thing you know. Why don't you just drop it and I'll pretend that you never said that ok?

I made my second U-turn on this ride and glanced at a meter reading of $26.70. I started to wonder if the guy had any money and unfortunately our forgetful friend didn't get the hint

You should pull over in this parking lot here and I would totally suck you off. ...You'd never know.

I'm still not sure about the easy going bit but I was through playing nice. I hit the breaks and pulled over.

That's enough of this shit ok? You mention this shit again and we're done. Now make up your fucking mind where you're going. You've got four choices. Are you ready? You can go to THE Hotel,the destination I actually wrote on my trip sheet. You can go to Gipsy. You can go to Apollo or you can get the fuck out. ...So which is it?

I said looking to the backseat.

Jeeeez homophobe what's your problem?

I'm straight dumbass so get a clue or get out.

Fine take me to my Hotel.

Ok. Give me 40 bucks.

WHAT? Why the meter only says 28 dollars?

You're not very bright are you? Look around. Are we at THE Hotel?

He thought about it for a short while. Faced with the prospect of walking from a place he'd consider to be the middle of nowhere, he reluctantly forked over two twenties. The remainder of the ride was spent in silence, making the long red lights on the empty streets awkward. I thought about what happened but it was only one of many things that remind me that I'm not in danger of getting bored with this job anytime soon. There is always a ride there to give me money, always a friend there to give me a tale and always a wacko there to remind me that I'm alive. Always a wacko. Who's cab do they think they are in anyway? I guess they'll never know.



*Seriously. Email me or leave a comment if you'd have something worthwhile to say to this.

Pictures II

Here are the rest of the shots that I had planned on sharing in no particular order. Most of them are either personally or (hopefully) artistically interesting.


Your local 7-11:


Inside the Temple of the Heavens:


Landed, DaXian:




Food:




Hot-pot:




This shot was taken at the residence where I resided for over a week. The very nice people had a refrigerator, I never figured out why they didn't use it:






Market day occurs on all days ending in 2, 5 or 8. Surrounding villages' market days take place on different numbers enabling farmers to sell their goods daily.











Occasionally, people would stop and check out the white person:




ShenZhen:








ShenZhen had the best and freshest seafood I've ever had. On one side of the street there are countless vendors selling live seafood. The abundance of choices is staggering. You pick whatever you want from whoever you want and pay by weight. The vendor(s) will bag up everything you purchase and walk it across the street with you to one of the dozens of restaurants, all which with different specialties, waiting to prepare your food and side dishes.











SanHuiZhen:


















Rice Fields:










Candids:

I took quite a few pictures of this 5th generation rice farmer after he gave me permission. He just had a cool way about him that I can't put his finger on. Perhaps it was simply his smile. He said that as far as he knew, I was the first white man to ever walk through that field.






The local Notary Public:



Last but not least my three favorites:







Well kids that's enough of this international travel business for now. It was fun while it lasted. Stay tuned for some new cab adventures which will be coming directly. It's hard to believe that I'm still a fuckin cabbie....

Pictures

I took close to 2000 photos in under a month. Almost 8 gigs worth. I've looked at them all a few times now and I think it's time to share some. Speaking of the nighttime Neon Sign picture, when I first arrived in that town 3 days prior it was dark and raining and the reflection of that sign on the vacant rain soaked street was a really cool effect. I wanted to get that picture. Earlier in the day when that shot was eventually taken, the wind picked up and the leaves turned and it seemed that darker skies where coming. I was excited because I knew that picture would be better if the street was wet. But I didn't get the rain I desired and ultimately there were a few other hang ups as well. Like I was drunk off my ass, I didn't have the proper equipment, I don't have the know-how to use said proper equipment if I did, I didn't have enough time plus I was drunk off my ass! One top of all that, I didn't discover my camera lens was jacked until I got to China. I had never noticed the problem previously so I had no reason to check it before I left. All I did was charge the batteries and buy some extra memory. Despite all of that, one of the ten or so shots I took turned out decent enough so I posted it. It just seemed to fit the mood of the story I suppose. Wait, did I say drunk off my ass twice? Either way, I feel like I have a good eye for photography so fuck it.

Of the 2000 or so photos I found 108 of them that turned out pretty good. I mean 108 that seemed worth sharing in terms of the story of my trip. That seems like a lot though. I've never tried anything like this before and I wasn't sure where to start now but then out of nowhere I got an email from our friend Roger asking if I could send him the pictures I of the Dentist I had told him about... I had seen a dentist along this muddy back alley that lead to nowhere one day and I got a couple of pictures and they turned out pretty good.

On one side of the dentists office is a used shoe store, on the other side is a place to buy cola, ice cream and umbrellas. The office, if you even want to call it that, isn't much bigger than a walk-in closet and it's wide open. You can see the mud that people have tracked in from the alley and anyone that is seen by the doctor is also seen by anyone who happens to walk by at the time. The doctor, will happily smoke a cigarette while he contemplates the next move. So lets start there....

(I believe you can click on the pictures and get a bigger version.)










The Great Wall pictures deserve to be near the top also. What an amazing experience that was. And what a hike! You can do some seriously walking on that mofo. It was crazy the amount of people that were up there. I was thankful that the sun peaked out there a little bit. Not only was it pretty cold and windy but the contrast between the shady and sunny areas of the mountains made for some really nice photos. With a full day and a kick ass lens or two you could really get some good shots. It's like I had said about Glacier National Park, it's impossible to take a bad picture.























The Summer Palace might be the best thing to see in Beijing. That might sound crazy considering everything else you can see there but the Summer Palace is spectacular. Built some 6 or 700 years ago. Much like the Great Pyramid or the Great Wall, the Summer Palace takes the term "man made" to a whole new level. A mountain is all you see when you first walk in but as you walk around you see the amazing palace that's built on top of it. Behind it is a huge man-made lake. It appears to be as big as Lake Mead. Absolutely incredible. When I think of a man made lake, I think of a river, a dam, then a lake. Well this one started as a stream and a tens of thousands of shovels. My guide informed me that the lake is only 4 meters deep and the earth for the mountain came from the lake. It's as interesting as it is beautiful.





I had asked my guide what these red bars where for. She told me that there were some kind of new structural addition to the buildings. I'm not a construction engineer, but those don't look structural to me. I nodded my head as she spoke but I was thinking it seemed odd.



An hour later or so I stumbled onto this sign hanging from a building. Ah-ha! Almost every building in the Forbidden City had a sign similar to this hanging from it. I just never put it together until I seen it this plainly. Once I figured it out I realized I didn't have the heart to tell the guide she was wrong.























You can take a boat and on the other side of the lake is the 17 Arches Bridge. ...I think that's what they called it anyway.





I forget the name of this park but I do remember it's located near old Beijing. It was very beautiful. If perchance anybody knows the name of it. please let me know.

















Well besides the dentists pics we appear to be heading on a most decided Beijing theme here so let's keep at it...As much as I hate to say it, the Forbidden City was amazing to see but at the same time it was something of a let down. I can't really say why other than most it is off limits to visitors and once you've seen one building from the outside they all kind of look the same. Nonetheless the numbers are staggering. If memory serves the Forbidden City spans over 110 acres and has just shy of 1000 buildings. My guide told me that if you were born in the Forbidden City, and slept in a different room each night of your life, you would be 21 before you will have slept in every room. Another interesting factoid that I remember is that the brick floor, if you will, over the entire complex, which you will see below, is 15 criss-crossing layers thick. They did this so any potential tunnelers would not be able to surface within the grounds. I also heard interesting stories about Emperors from centuries ago and the sometimes political, sometimes whimsical lifestyles they led. One other thing that was staggering was simply how many visitors where there. Over 100K visitors come to the Forbidden City every day. My tour was less than ten people so we were able to dart around pretty good. Those bus tour people were fucking annoying even without the bullhorns and I was damn glad I didn't have to wear one of those hats.














More Beijing.

Tienanmen Square Morning. This one might be my favorite picture I took. I took 6 or 7 shots of this and I think this one turned out the best. It's still out of focus though. Nonetheless the wet street and the reflection on it makes the picture infinitely better I think.



We went there at 5 in the morning to see the troops raise the flag at sunrise. It was a pretty cool experience and I'm glad I did it. There was a ton of people there and I remember being surprised about that. That was stupid. They had a barricade set up and I was standing ten rows back or so when the ceremony started but I could still see perfectly. Ha Ha. I only took one picture and it too is out of focus. Nonetheless you can see the troops in formation marching the flag across the street and into the square where it resides daily. I got a crappy video of the actual procession but I won't share that here.



Then we went back in the afternoon. You can really see my jacked up lens here. Could have been a nice shot otherwise.



This is the line to enter Mausoleum of Mao Zedong. MaoZedong is a popular former Chairman of the Communist Party. His body is embalmed and open for viewing and if you want to wait in this ridiculous line you can walk past it for 3 seconds. It's free. This is the end of the line on the left which went all the way down as far as you can see in this photo, then turned to the right and went down and back the length of the building and then a left and all the way back to here. The people waiting in line on the right here are still about 20 minutes from the front. The line moved fast but it still took forever. It was was worth seeing though. It was like Bodies only not overpriced.



Ok. I think this thing is starting to run long so I think what I'm going to do is a few more Beijing pictures and then do the other stuff I have in another post or two....If you want to see more that is. Yeah that sounds good.

In no particular order...

Beijing Airport. The largest in the world. You know you have a large airport when the different terminals have dedicated exits off the freeway. (Sorry no pictures of that)



Beijing has this intricate electric busing system. I'd hate to see what happens when the system shuts down.






















And I'll leave you with this. One day, while in Old (or original?) Beijing my guide, who on this day happened to be a mandarin speaking white dude from Virginia, asked me If I'd heard about the first day of the Olympics when that Chinese guy went crazy and killed a volleyball coach and jumped off a building. I replied that I did remember hearing about that. My guide slapped my arm and said, "that was the building he jumped off of".

Save Face

Buried in a forgettable town in heartland China is a restaurant with only ten or so large tables, ill functioning electricity and no menu's. You eat whatever they bring. Having just finished the massive meal and the ample amount of toasts to coincide, my body is in a battle between feeling stuffed and feeling buzzed. My new Australian friend and his interpretor informed me that the constant toasting is a part of Chinese culture and generally everybody will toast, and will be toasted by every other person in the group or room. That amounts to a lot of drinking while your eating. Half the time your food is cold by the time you get back to it. Normally you would only socialize after the meal and drink much less or simply tea, but tonight was different. Tonight is a celebration. Tonight there are white people in town.

"We're twice their size you'd think we could take um on physics alone" Roger said. "Well I don't know you" I said, "but every Aussie I've ever known has been well respected in the pubs, so I have little doubt you'll be standing when this is over. If nothing else, we need to keep up foreign relations ya know? We're like those Ping-Pong guys that united the two sides, only we're here with boomerangs and shot glasses. And don't worry about me Roger. I'll be fine." "Who are the Ping-Pong guys?" Roger replied. Everybody in the room, myself included are standing and talking. We are holding our glass in one hand and either a liter of beer or some unmarked moonshine smellin shit in the other. "All we need to do is drink as much or more than them and don't lose face in the process." Roger looked at me like Ivan Drago in Rocky IV and added, "We won't lose".

Gumbei is the word and each time you toast you can say it and drink the whole glass. If your counterpart doesn't as well he looks bad. They are only 3 or 4 ounce glasses but you down one every couple minutes and then throw in some occasional rice extraction bullshit and well, you get the idea. You didn't have to but I decided to go with the "gumbei" strategy. Go big early and then try and save a little kick for the homestretch. I glanced at Roger and could see that he was already gaining respect. He downed them much faster than me.

2 hours later a few people have left but that didn't matter much. Roger and I were standing in the same exact spot we started in still withstanding the perpetual onslaught of toasts. They just kept coming at us. Maybe there were more of them and I only thought there were less? That was their strategy. I went with the gumbie thing and they went with, overwhelm you with numbers and secretly sub in guys who hadn't been drinking thing. Rogers friend and interpretor Jerry still remained as well. As well he should, these were his friends. At this point I'm just about teetering on the edge. You know the edge where on one side you've got this killer buzz and everything in your life is perfect and on the other side is the downward spiral to the scary place? I was easing up to it. If we continued on this pace I could be in trouble very shortly.

As soon as I think about that a man I recognized was standing in front of me again, this time instead of holding his glass and a bottle he's holding two bowls. Not rice bowls either. These are cereal bowls and they're filled to the brim. He hands one of them to me. We say gumbei and the Chinamen was fast. He immediately grabbed another bottle and his was filled up before I was finished with mine. I was as puzzled as I was concerned when I looked down to see him filling mine up again too. I thought he was going to walk away like the rest of them and go toast somebody else. Jerry leaned over and said "in China it's considered good luck if you do three." I looked at the man again and said, gumbei! I was much faster the second time, or maybe he was slower I don't know. Either way we were both feeling it afterwards. It took the guy much longer to fill up the bowls and by the time he was done everyone in the room was watching. I immediately said the magic word again and this time I had mine done first. The price I paid for it was crossing that line I spoke of earlier. I was fucked up but I knew it was time for the kill. I fed off his weakness and immediately grabbed another liter and started filling our bowls up again. When I was done I pulled Jerry over and said, "you tell him in America... we do 4". I held up four fingers and Jerry was laughing as he translated it. As soon as he stopped talking I banged the bowls together and I'll never forget the look on that guys face. "Gumbei"!

Roger had his arm draped around my neck as we walked out of the restaurant. The pitch black street didn't conceal our drunkenness. "We did it mate!" Roger said, "and "In America we do 4?" That was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant mate. Allies 1. China nill". "Yeah we did good,today" I said, hoping my words were understood by whomever was listening, "but even money our next challenge will be either Mahjong or Ping-Pong. Are you up for it mate?"
"What's Mahjong?"

I walked back to my quarters, stopping only to snap a photo I'd been meaning to.

Greetings from Beijing

This marks the first time I've had computer access since the last time we spoke, so I figured fuck it, I might as well check in. That is what bloggers do right? Check in from time to time?

My experience over the last 16 days has been amazing and I'm still going strong. I have not gotten sick like I thought I would, the only food I couldn't stomach was the stinky tofu in downtown Hong Kong and the most crucial error I've made is locking my suitcase keys in my suitcase. Lucky for me, that mistake was remedied by a 50 year old, butcher knife totting Sichuanese Lady.

Today I visited the Olympic Village. I paid the extra money and was able to venture inside the infamous Water Cube and Birds Nest. I also visited The Summer Palace. Most used by Empress Cixi, it was something of a recluse for a few different Emperors who found life in the Forbidden City too political. Being an Emperor must have been a tough life. There are so many beautiful things to see here. Tomorrow I will be visiting the Great Wall so I can check another World Wonder off the list.

For the past week I spent time in what I called the real China. Not the postcard China I find myself in now. Upon arriving here it was strange to see another white person. Interestingly, something saddened me about that. It almost cheapened the whole experience for me. Perhaps that should clue you in as to exactly how far out I ventured.

That being said I am starting to feel an itch to make it back to Las Vegas. I guess there is just something about that city for me. But, I still have a few stops to make and a lot more pictures to take. The most interesting of which might be my plan tomorrow to throw on my 96' summer tour T-shirt I made sure to bring along so I could snap a few photos at the Great Wall with it. Heads everywhere, and in a couple of weeks, back in Vegas.

Cheers, or as they say in these parts, Gumbei!