Monday, July 24, 2006


For some reason or another on my first day back to work they assigned me a mini-van to drive. I have no idea what happened to my regular cab while I was gone. Somebody probably wrapped it around a telephone pole or better yet it could be parked in some guys driveway at home while he let some hooker handcuff him to the bed. Either way, the mini-vans aint so bad except for the fact that they suck gas and you can't fly over the speed bumps with them. People go flying in the backseat. Although that might be sweet if you had a passenger fall asleep...I think you might literally get someone to shit their pants. That would be another first for the LVCC.

Another thing is that when people see a mini-van they think they can pile 10 people in the fucker. It's amazing the infinite lack of wisdom there is out there. The fact of the matter is that according to NRS no cab shall carry more than 5 passengers. Yes even mini vans. You cant carry more passengers than you have seatbelts. It makes sense. If it's an Exploder, they are only 4. 1 in the front, 3 in the back. The Crown Vics can carry 5,2/3. The mini-vans are also 5, 1/2/2. From a liability standpoint, if I loaded a 6pack and got in a wreck...all somebody would have to say is that they didn't have a seatbelt to put on. Cha-ching. I'd be out the job and my employer would be out a large amount of cash no matter which way it spun. Of course all that shit was out the window back when the strip clubs were paying big money. 8 was the most I ever got, 3/4/1(trunk). Now it's not anywhere near worth it. No reason to take the risk.

Late in the night I was 5th or 6th in line at the Ti, but more importantly the 1st mini-van. 6 guys walk out the front door needing a cab. On queue they immediately spot me, ignore the door-man, ignore the other cabs that have been waiting longer than me, walk over and one of them taps on my window.

Can you take us to the MGM?

There are 6 of you?


I'm sorry, I cant do it. 5 is the maximum passengers allowed, state law. You gotta get two cabs

I'll give you 20 bucks.

At this point it was obvious this guy had probably been doing this all weekend. No biggie. Im sure some cabbies would do it. But for me, if I'm going to risk losing my job, my license/permit, potentially huge fines and putting peoples lives in danger, you're going to have to do better than 20 bucks.

I'm sorry sir I cant do it. Just go up to the doorman, he'll get you two cabs and $10 a piece will get you there no problem.

I know but we all want to ride together....?

Again..I'm sorry, cant do it.

Then it was weird. It was like this guy shifted into another character almost. He sighed, kinda shrugged and then poof' he was different guy.

(reaches in his back pocket)
Alright....I just wanted to let you know that you're doing the right thing. I'm an off-duty Metro officer(shows me the badge), we all are...and like I said, you did the right thing.....But now you're going to take us!

Get in

A fun group of guys actually. They were all giving me a hard time because I was giving them one before. It was all in good fun. When we got to the MGM they all threw some money at me. It worked out good.

Now I know some of you may be First he runs from the cops,then was instrumental in the apprehension of an armed felon and now he is illegally carting around officers of the law to aide them in the squandering of their marriages and pensions in the same 12 hours.

In response to such claims I would tell you not to ask questions and then cite the first rule of Fight Club.

In all honestly I have nothing but respect for Officers of the Law. And Firefighters as well of course. (shout out to my crew at DFD!!!!)

These people don't get enough credit in my opinion.

If you disagree with that, I would suggest calling someone else when your boyfriend is beating you up because you don't listen.

Monday, July 03, 2006


The 4th of July holiday week has been really good so far for me. The Cabbie Gods have been smiling and I'm simultaneously grateful on one hand and wondering when the law of averages is going catch up to me on the other. A co-worker told me that they can tell how their night is going to be just by the first ride alone. If the first one is a good one, then your night will be as well and vice-versa. I disagree. A lot can happen in 12hrs. One ride can be completely fucked up and then the next could be some drunk bastard giving you a bill to take him to Excalibur. You never know. Furthermore I believe that your attitude determines your income for any given night more than anything.

If somebody asks you how your night is going the answer is always: Fantastic. It's quick and gets the point across. But say it with a little jive...Fantastic! People will respond. Its retarded almost. Like people are just like dogs in some strange way. FANTASTIC! It brings people up.

Try it sometime.

So I was doing fantastic tonight. As I said, Cabbie Gods... I loaded at Hard Rock. A white guy and smoking black girl. BANGIN! It was pretty obvious what was up from the git-go.

The white guy was Russian and spoke little English so the girl told me Riviera. As we are driving the guy starts talking about his wife and that they cant go back to his room there. She asks me where they could go.

A year ago you would have taken them to the Del Mar. I real shotty motel a couple blocks north of the Strat. They rented by the hour and were "conveniently located". However the place finally got closed by metro. It seemed that it took them a better part of a decade to figure it out. I don't know of any other places that do that so I was telling them about some places on Freemont they could get for 40 or so for the night.

We just need it for a little bit

Right. But it's (only) 40 bucks

This girl is all business. She's trying to figure it out. She doesn't want to go to her car, if she even has one and she's definitely not going to her pad. She invested time and now has a dude who's ready to party. It's time to cash in but they've got nowhere to go.

what about the cab?

I cant recall the exact first thing that entered my mind. I thought about it and wasn't really opposed necessarily.

You'll take care of me?

She knew what I wanted.


I really didn't feel like watching our two lovebirds and more than anything it was time for some breakfast. I couldn't think of a better place to go at a time like this than the Peppermill. The Peppermill is this bad-ass cafe slash retro "fireside chats" lounge complete with awesome food and a vibe. This is the cafe that Swingers scene should have been filmed in. But more importantly, the 10 egg omelets for 10 bucks. They're huge. I never finish it.

I found a good place to park. Took my permit, keys and medallion with me. I was seated, ordered the usual and thought about adding a white Russian to my order in honor of my new friend. But I was on duty. The food was good as usual I left a twenty on the table and walked back out to the cab.

It was empty. When I got close to it I could see the 100 sitting on the drivers seat. An honest ho. Fantastic!


On that note kids Im off for my own vacation as of the 5th. Where I'll be the next three weeks is a mystery. To you, not to me. Perhaps I'll have some interesting chronicles as a passenger for change. I tell you this only to explain that there shan't be a reason to visit this page for about three weeks or so for it will be the same as it