Friday, June 29, 2007

I got served. It's so on.

The loud knocking at the door startled me as I was sitting in front of this very computer. The Mormons never come after dark, my neighbor is nice enough just to call me when the music is to loud and I wasn't expecting any lady callers tonight so to say I was surprised by the three monotonous knocks would be an understatement. I got up from this comfortable chair and made my way to the front door, turning on the porch light and looking through the peephole once I arrived. My peek yielded no fruit but I unlocked and opened the door anyway. There was no one there, however I quickly noticed the large manila envelope staring up at me from my welcome mat.

It wasn't a normal manila envelope. You know the kind with the hole in the center of the lip and the little wing nut looking thing attached to the backside of the envelope? This wasn't one of those. This one had a red nickel sized piece of cardboard on the lip side and a similar one on the backside of the manila. A little red string wrapped around each kept the envelope from opening. There are good manila envelopes and bad manila envelopes, this most certainly was going to be a bad one. I had no doubts.

All my debt is taken care of so I ruled out the collectors as I opened the manila to reveal about ten sheets of paper. The first two were stapled together and had some really official sounding phrases typed onto it like, "State of Nevada", "County of Clark" and "Affidavit of Service". These sheets looked like the most uncool Mad-Lib ever. I say that because there were many spaces on this form left empty and waiting to be completed. The second 8 pages or so were stapled together as well and had some sweet sounding phrases such as: "Las Vegas Justice Court", "General Allegations" and "Defendant" preceding my name.

Further reading disclosed the real dilemma. I'm being sued. According to the resident ambulance chaser, I "negligently operated my vehicle" and as a direct result of that the plaintiff (a.k.a. the prick who was also cited at the scene) sustained injuries to his "back, shoulders, bodily limbs(apparently there are other kinds of limbs) organs & systems...all or some of which conditions may be permanent and disabling, and all to Plaintiff's damage in sum in excess of $5,000."

Sued by that fucking prick that I was involved in my last accident with...a year and a half ago. Interesting that this story resurfaces again. You can read it again for the first time and watch the videos of the crash HERE. What a joke. As I said before and I'll never forget that douche bags first comment to me. We both exited our vehicles and the very first thing out of my mouth after he stopped cursing at me was:

Are you OK?

Douche bag looks at me, looks at the cab, looks back at me. Then he shrugs his shoulders as he says:

I don't know.

What a tool.

In other news my employer is also named as a defendant in the suit. As they should because you'd have to be an idiot to just sue me. I don't have anything to give them. You gotta sue the people with the money, and my company certainly has some of that.

Now this tale doesn't fulfill my original criteria for blogging which was, it has to be "either funny and/or interesting" before I'll post it. This news bulletin is definitely neither. But, it is a chronicle, and it is most certainly on.


G.S. said...

Funk, you know this is really excellent journalism here. You explain what's going down with the lawsuit, reference a prior account of the accident and the situation that preceded the accident, and then we get to actually SEE the accident from two different video angles. Fascinating, really! And now, having seen the footage, my two cents are these: it was a minor accident and there's no way this guy's injuries, if any, could exceed the normal insurance coverage. So don't worry that you will have to pay out of your own pocket or have a judgement against you. It will be settled by the lawyers without a trial.

Anonymous said...

Now this tale doesn't fulfill my original criteria for blogging which was, it has to be "either funny and/or interesting" before I'll post it.

I disagree. This is indeed interesting, although a big hassle for you. I'm curious to see if Mr. Tool and his ambulance chasing attorney win the battle vs. hard working cabbie and his company. Keep us posted. (Although I have to admit, somehow the attorneys always seem to win something. Well, except for Nifong maybe.)
Good luck, man.

Anonymous said...

Hey, It's just good to have you talking to us again. I'm sure there have been some interesting/funny things that happened in the last month. They don't have to be novel quality to keep our interest. Try to talk to us more often. We miss ya!

MrFunkMD said...

G.S.- Thanks... I remember the day I finally conned my boss into burning me the accident footage onto a CD that I brought in specifically for that purpose. It sat on his desk for at least a month, alongside a written request I made. He ignored it, until one day I finally went in there and pressed him about it. He kept asking me why I wanted copies of it, I think I gave him a different answer every time. Of course I knew damn well what I wanted it for, but I wasn't sayin. There are lots of cabbie blogs out there and I read quite a few of them, yours included...but I don't think anybody has video proof of one of their accidents. I'm breaking down walls here people!

Funk - 1
Other cabbies - 0


anony's...Thanks also. Yeah, I guess I'm pretty picky about what I blog about. I just want each post to be a strong one, w/o any BS. I'd rather say nothing than say something boring. That's just how I roll I guess. I get emails about this as well...which is a good thing I suppose. People like you guys care enough to write me asking for more. I appreciate that a lot.

Unfortunately however, I don't see myself changing my ways anytime soon. I've kind of personally committed to posting at least once a month but that is no guarantee by any means. I started this blog as a means of sharing my adventures with my family/friends back home...I used to just send them an email when a new story was up. Obviously, it's grown beyond that which is cool, but (so far) I'm staying true to the original intent. I would suggest subscribing to "Bloglines" or equivalent and they'll just send you a notice when I do finally update. This will save you coming here for no reason. I appreciate your visits, very much, but I don't have any ads here so number of visits really means nothing in the grand scheme.

Hopefully that^^ doesn't sound to self serving or obnoxious. Lastly, I'll have you know that there are currently a few logs in the proverbial fire so you'll be hearing from me soon. And I'll also keep you posted as my lawsuit progresses. ...and I cant believe you dropped a Nifong reference, thats a riot!

Be good people -Funk

Anonymous said...

Very entertaining reading Thanks

Dave U.K.