XLI

Some say that the Fremont St. corridor downtown Las Vegas is a bad neighborhood. It's usually an uninformed tourist that doesn't make it into the big city very often making the proclamation. I suppose four years ago I would have been equally misguided but nowadays I personally think the idea is a misnomer. The number of homeless in the area is practically the sole reason for the misconception. It's not like people are getting mugged or killed in front of Binions. Even east of the BLVD. on Fremont, which in years past was a little sketchy, has improved a lot recently. (Hey Goodman, nice work there buddy. How many terms did that take you?) Nonetheless the homeless can be a bit cumbersome. Thankfully, I'm generally in a good mood so I don't really let them bother me. I mean they bother me, but only for the dollar they're short for the bus, to wash my windows or to offer up some of their stolen goods. Mach 3 razor blade replacements, 50 packs of AAA batteries or my personal favorite, DVD porno. Why is DVD porno my favorite you ask? Well it's not because I patronize the guy on a regular basis, although I have on a couple of occasions. It's more just the idea that there is some dude toting a suitcase full of porno for sale always walking around. Always open for business. I can't help you if you don't think that's funny. As relentless as some of the homeless are about money grubbing, I'm still usually good for handing out a dollar a day. One dollar. And only if it's right.

I was on the Nugget stand on Carson St. not to long ago. I was Fourth or fifth in line so I had enough time to take my Mothers call when it came. Mom likes to check in every so often, I'm sure she worries. Although there are a lot of misconceptions about the cab driving gig, most of the potential dangers are quite real. I was amidst a sentence with Mom when a loud mouth, smelling like ass, piece of shit jams his head through my half retracted window and practically yelled:

CAN I GET SOME CHANGE MAN?!...

I responded solely with a cut throat gesture, for I know that to be the universal signal for piss off.

C'MON MAN, I JUST SHORT A DOLLAR FOR THE BUS! HELP ME OUT.

I just stared at him. ...

Mom, hold on a second.

and I placed my phone down to my lap.

....HEY ASSHOLE! YOU'RE INTERRUPTING ME. My cab is starting to smell like shit so get your stankin ass out of here!

Seriously, there is a way to go about things. You would think if your being depended on asking other people for money all the time, you would figure that the fuck out.

FUCK YOU man. You could help me out you just don't want to.

Genius my friend!

and I clapped a few times unenthusiastically.

I picked my phone back up and as I was bringing it to my ear the bum starting walking away. Naturally, he had some more choice words for me along his way. His mouth seemed to get louder as he got farther away and then he said something that just got to me. I couldn't even remember what exactly he said to tell you the truth but the next thing I knew I was pissed off and I got out of the cab and made my way his direction. Four years ago I never would have been in this situation. Four years ago, I would have been in the cab, windows up, doors locked.

Where are you going? Say that over here buddy I can't hear you.

I'll kick yo ass fat boy.

Say that over here. If you wanna be a tough guy, you gotta come over here and say that. You're a pussy when you talk shit over there.

FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKER! I'LL BE BACK WITH MY GUN IN A MINUTE...I'LL FUCKIN KILL YOUR ASS. I'LL BE OVER THERE IN A FEW MINUTES ALRIGHT?

OH, YOU'RE GONNA TAKE THE BUS THAT YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO THE CARDBOARD BOX YOU CALL HOME TO GET YOUR GUN THAT YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE? IF YOU HAD A GUN YOU WOULD HAVE PAWNED IT A LONG TIME AGO.

I yelled as he disappeared around the corner on Casino Center. I stood there for a few seconds before I realized that my phone was still in my left hand.

Sorry Mom. Are you still there?

I said as I began walking back to the cab.

OH MY GOD Andrew did that guy say he was going to shoot you???

Mom said very distraught.

Don't worry about it Mom. He doesn't have a gun.

How do you know?

Mom. It's ok.

Why didn't you just give him a dollar? It's not smart to make enemies with crazy people.

Four years ago Mom, I probably would have.