Wednesday, February 15, 2006


I loaded these three Mexican ladies with brochures in hand at the front door at Circus Circus. The one lady who spoke the most English sits shotgun. She gives a destination

the botanical garden
.....In broken English.

The only botanical garden I know is at the Bellagio so I ask if that's where they wanted to go, because they didn't sound sure. Upon hearing that the BG was at the Bellagio Mexi explained the best she could that they were at the Bellagio yesterday and thought the BC was somewhere else.

nah...not that I know of

So Mexi is now has the brochure fully open and then gives a second destination...

the Colorado River

(pointing to the pic of the river in the brochure)

Now this has got to be the strangest destination I've ever been given.

you want to go to the river?........ You mean you want to go to the Hoover Dam?

yes, sie....That's it

Ok wtf. I guess Im going to the Dam now. Of course Im not going anywhere near that far without a deposit. I've never been to the dam in the cab so im trying to think how much to ask for. I figured it to be around 50 or so, so thats what I asked for. She oblidged and handed me a fifty spot, no problemo. I then went on to explain, three times actually that she was going to owe me whatever the meter said when we got there, the 50 was just an estimate...and on the flip side if it was less than that I would give her change. She agreed.

I radio to dispatch to let them know Im getting out of dodge, the three ladies started a conversation in spanish and I turned on a lame FM channel. Their conversation lasted the full 40 minutes. There wasn't much traffic so it was a nice cruise..... It's always nice to get off the logjam that is the strip for a while. Even though the bastards at the cab co. disable the cruise control.

Sure enough we get about 2/3 of the way there and my estimate was way off. We were already at 50 on the meter. As predicted Mexi is showing signs that she's worried. I assured her that we were close and reminded her about what I said 40 minutes earlier. It's also worth noting that I assumed long before this happened that I would be receiving no tip for this ride.

Shortly after this Mexi starts asking me how they are going to get back and if there were cabs there. (sha right) I explained that she can pay me to wait there @ $22.00/hr or she could try and find another way back. There was no way that she was gonna pay me any more money b/c she seemed to think that I was ripping her off since the meter read 76+ when we got there. So I guess she really had no clue what she was doing 35 miles out of town 2 hours before dusk.

So as we're pulling up to this nice parking garage embedded into the mountain at the dam the dam sign reads "Commercial Vehicles 1st Level". So I take the ramp to dropoff down there and there are busses and limos down there. Immediately this security guard comes over and tells me I need to

go upstairs for car dropoff ...

I swear all security guards have small penises.

So I back out of there and follow the line of cars to the next level. At the top another security guard is collecting the $5 parking fee from the vehicles as they enter. I get there and Im just thinking shes gonna wave me by so I barely slow down,....she practically jumps in front of me to get me to stop...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? It's $5 for parking


Sir, parking is $5

That's a good story. Im not parking though, you see Im dropping these ladies off and leaving, they dont want to pay me to wait for them.

You still have to pay the $5 sir

WHAT? I went downstairs to commercial vehicle dropoff and the guy told me to drop off up here, they're not charging people downstairs! Im not paying you five bucks to drop these ladies off

....There was no way I was getting five more bucks out of Mexi + crew.

Sir, go wait over there and you can talk to my supervisor

That would be great thank you

So now we're on the upper level overlooking the damn Dam and while Im waiting for Capt. dickhead to make his way over here Im watching mexi counting out the exact change for the fare as she's asking me again how they are going to get back. I explain the situation again and I now have 65 cents rattling in my pocket. Its also worth noting that as a rule..if you're gonna stiff a cabbie you should ask for advice before doing so not after.

you can pay me to wait for you, or I would try to talk to one of those limos or buses downstairs, maybe they can help you.

As they're exiting the cab, dickhead is making his way over.....

Sir, I need you to pay the $5

Sir, can I ask you a question?

go ahead

It's $5 for parking right?


Ok. Here's the thing though. Im not parking. These ladies just exited my cab. My cab is in gear. As soon as you get out of the way, im leaving. Im not paying you the $5 for parking. It's ridiculous to charge commercial vehicles to dropoff anyway. Nobody does that.

Sir, I wouldn't do that

WTF?!!!... Dickhead explains that he was gonna call the cops over here to explain it to me, which of course are on site and dickhead has his radio in his hand. I mean God damn these people have a hard on for this five bucks. It was actually funny though I thought. I mean, I sent a guy to jail for 3 days over 11 bucks before so who was I to talk shit?

So the guy got 5 singles from me. But not before I asked for his name and his badge number.....that'll show him. At least I had a 40 min cruise to the port and the crappy tunes to look forward to.

As for the three Mexican ladies...? I have no idea what became their fate. Its also worth noting that I have since learned that there is another botanical garden in town.

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