Wednesday, February 22, 2006

XIV

It was four o'clock on Saturday and I was just leaving the yard. Since moving to the night shift the Stratosphere has become my ritual first stop. It's only two blocks from our yard and it's as good as place as any to start your day. This day wasn't unlike any other so far in the first 4 minutes but while staging at the Strat I got an interesting proposition from a homeless lady.

Its not uncommon at all to have homeless people come up to your cab while your staging, usually they are trying to sell you things. Whatever the last thing they were able to pinch from the nearest souvenir shop...hey you never know when that scale model stratosphere tower or a keychain with the replica "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign on it might come in handy. Other times they are unlucky war veterans that are just looking for a handout. On this day a get this knarly looking Mexican lady whose looks reminded me of my favorite Simpsons character Hans Moleman......You know, this guy:


She wasn't carrying anything, so as she is walking over to me Im trying to think of some clever reason to not give her a dollar. After all I just got started so Ive only got ten of them in my pocket. It was a nice day out so my window was already down....

If you give me $1000 today I'll give you $2000 tomorrow


I don't know why I did it, but I decided to play along...

Wow, that sounds like a pretty good deal


(pause)
Well?


Well, how do I know you have the $2000?


I have it


Where do you have it?


Its in the bank, I can get it tomorrow


Tomorrow is Sunday, the banks are closed


I tell you what, why don't you get a hotel room for us and you can do whatever you want to me until Monday and then I can get the money out


really?


oh yeah


I don't know though...I'm still kinda unsure that you have the $2000



Well, how about you give me $300 right now and Ill give you $600 on Monday?



ehh, I think the $2000 had a nicer ring to it..maybe some other time. Give me your cell number and I might give you a call so we can do this


I think the cell number line finally made her realize that I was fucking with her, b/c she stormed off and walked to the next cabbie behind me. I doubt she had better luck with him. I mean really, I would have bought a Big Shot magnet for 2 bucks.

1 comment:

AK Dan said...

Someplace, somewhere there is a moleman fetishist who you just severely disappointed.

Not me though. I prefer plain vanilla sex. With gummy bears. And by gummy bears, I don't mean fat hairy guys. I mean gelatinous candy with differing colors of food dye. And chicks, only chicks. Man, I really need to stop reading this blog late at night. I get weird.