Tuesday, August 17, 2010

L "The Ticket" Part IV

ATTENTION READERS: WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS A CONTINUATION OF AN EXISTING STORY. FOR THOSE UNFAMILIAR, I WOULD SUGGEST YOU START AT THE BEGINNING

OR PREVIOUS POSTS:
PART III
PART II





It was after midnight on a Sunday night and I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone while dead-heading downtown from the Strip. The Strip hotels were stacked full of cabs so even though it was late I decided to try my luck downtown. Shortly after merging onto US 95 south at the spaghetti-bowl, I discovered that the usual downtown exit, Casino Center Dr., was closed for repair forcing me to continue to the Las Vegas Blvd. off ramp where I was able to exit the freeway. I made a right turn heading south onto L.V. Blvd. and caught the green lights at Stewart and then Ogden. I thought the Strip was dead but that was nothing compared to this. It was a ghost-town. After passing Ogden I noticed four individuals standing on the curb to my right, one of them, a man, was frantically waving his arm indicating he was requesting taxi service. The universal signal.

I quickly pulled over, unlocked the doors and ended my phone conversation in one maneuver. Two boys and two girls climbed in and asked me to take them to the Palazzo. I guess you could say that my pending citation failed to serve as a sufficient deterrent to the crime. Besides, they thanked me for picking them up. I continued past the intersection of LV Blvd and Fremont and out of the corner of my eye I noticed the lights turn on and in no time the cop was behind me. He had parked in a unlit parking lot across the street beside a building and I didn’t see him. Undoubtedly, he was parked there to catch somebody doing this exact thing. That intersection has a lot of foot traffic generally and there isn’t a cab stand nearby. On a dead night like tonight, this is a major score to find these people as it saves me from killing an hour of my night sitting on a stand waiting for a fare to approach me. Personally I feel it’s unconscionable for anyone to expect me, or any cabbie trying to earn a living, to 1.) Refuse that business & 2.) Deny the public the service. To my knowledge, in no other major metropolis in the world is this practice illegal. Only in Vegas, or so they say. Considering the time, location and situation surrounding my detainment, and even though the bright lights of the squad car blinded me, I knew already that this was a TaxiCab Authority officer behind me. There was no question.

“Why are we getting pulled over?” the man sitting shotgun asked.

“Because I picked you up, don’t worry it’ll be ok,” I replied as the Officer was already approaching my window.

Taxi Cab Authority Officer Kevin S. Hinkle stopped just short of my window and leaned forward to peak inside the vehicle, “Driver I need your registration, permit, health card and drivers license. Do you know why I pulled you over?”

“No sir I do not,” I replied and handed him the documents.

“How long have you been a cab driver Mr. ….uh, Funk?”

“Almost six years.”

“And you don’t know why I pulled you over?”

“No sir, I do not.”

“I pulled you over for interfering with traffic while loading.”

“I see… But sir, there was no traffic there.”

“Yes there was, there was two cars right behind you.”

“Um I don’t think so sir, I don’t see anyone around.”

“There were two cars there.”

“Sir,” my passenger sitting beside me interrupted, “we’ve been standing out here for a few minutes waiting for a cab and this guy was the first car we’ve seen since we got here.”

“That’s not your concern sir, just sit tight and we’ll get you out of here real soon,” and he walked back to his squad car.

“I don’t get it,” my passenger said, “is that guy retarded? There weren’t any cars anywhere!”

“I know I know,” I said excited that my passenger were already catching on to my theory, “this is how it goes man. Don’t worry I’ll deal with it.”

“You think he’s giving you a ticket?”

“Absolutely.”

“Well maybe I can help you,” he said, “ I’ll give you my email address and you let me know and I’ll send you statement that I was a witness and that there wasn’t any traffic.”

“Yeah we all will,” the others agreed.

“Thanks, yeah I might take you up on that, that might help thank you.”

Officer Hinkle finally made his way back to my window and gave me the bad news. As he handed me the oversized palm pilot for me to make my mark and promise to appear, I asked him, “ officer you’re citing me under NRS or LVO?”

“NRS,” and he handed me the ticket, “I’m going to let you keep this ride you have a safe night ok?”

“Yes sir.”

We continued south bound on the Strip until we reached my passengers destination of the Palazzo. Upon our arrival the man sitting shotgun besides me asked for a sheet of paper and pen so he could write down his email address for me. I gave him a business card and he wrote his email on the back and returned it to me. I was flattered that all of them seemed genuinely concerned about my plight. The man gave me a nice tip in addition to his previous generosity and even took it as far as to apologize for their part in my getting a ticket.

“That’s ok,” I replied, “I’ve been trying to get this ticket for years.”

To be continued…PART V

Sunday, August 15, 2010

L "The Ticket" Part III

ATTENTION READERS: WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS A CONTINUATION OF AN EXISTING STORY. FOR THOSE UNFAMILIAR, I WOULD SUGGEST YOU START AT THE BEGINNING.

OR PREVIOUS POST:
PART II




I said before that all you need to do is follow the process and you will eventually have your day in court, and that is true. When you do finally get your moment to tell your side of the events, it’s important that the opportunity not be fleeced. You may only have one chance to set the record straight and the most effective way to do that is the boy scout motto; “be prepared”. First, you want to dress accordingly. You won’t need a suit but you do need to show respect to the court and I won’t insult your intelligence by telling you what that means. Secondly, when you are given the opportunity to speak, you should do so in an calm, concise and thoughtful manner and try and leave your emotions out of it, and the best way for me to accomplish this is to prepare a statement in advance. Being a well thought out and logical thinker is a gift that God blessed me with I suppose and for that I grateful, however I’m not a particularly fast thinker. I think I could be a dynamite debater if I was given hours to conjure my rebuttals, but of course you’re not, therefore I would be horrible at it. So I find the best way to insure that I get all of my ideas out clearly and orderly, and in a timely fashion, is to prepare a statement in advance and simply read from it. If I neglected to do this there is little doubt that I would forget something crucial or just simply get jumbled in the heat of the moment and ultimately sound like an idiot. Well I don’t know about you, but I didn’t spend two hours in prison, get talked down too by a butch bailiff, get harassed by a snot nosed ADA and pine on it for 6 months to sound like a idiot. I did all that to get this fucking thing dismissed. I did it for the precedent. I’m in it to win it baby! So I prepared a statement to read from while in front of the Judge and as luck would have it, the experience of authoring this blog over the years has taught me a few things, but mostly how to more effectively convey my thoughts on paper.

In the days leading up to my court date I completed my statement. I touched on a few ideas that I have had for a while as well as some other things I felt important and it reads as follows:


Before I begin my testimony your Honor, I feel as though it is my duty to inform you that at the time I appeared in court to enter a not guilty plea for this citation I was misinformed and made to feel intimidated by the Assistant District Attorney. The ADA who spoke to me indicated there was a substantial risk in pleading not guilty as there was the potential for a considerably steeper fine if found guilty. The ADA more than hinted to this supposed fact in an attempt to get me to change my plea. He informed me that the maximum fine if found guilty for this infraction was $1000 and said that I would be wise to plead guilty for no points on my record and only pay a $190 fine. Previously, I read on the Municipal Court Violation Look-Up page online, that the maximum fine for this offense for the first infraction was $190. The maximum fine for the second offense was $250 and nowhere did it indicate the potential for that exorbitant amount. Interestingly, when I first went into the courthouse that day, the administrative secretary in the traffic citations office reiterated that fine information to me exactly. When I informed her of my desire to plead not guilty she sent me across the hall to the courtroom at which point the ADA made his effort to convince me to change my plea. It’s worth noting that the two other individuals who wished to plead not guilty that day quickly changed their minds after talking to the ADA for just a few minutes. Your Honor, I understand that the courts are backed up and it’s in everyone’s best interest to expedite this process. However, I am afforded a right to a trial and I should not be made to feel threatened simply for exercising it. As a citizen of this City, I do not appreciate these bullying tactics by court officials and I can only imagine how a lesser prepared individual might have been coerced. That is the word for such behavior I believe, coercion.

To the issue at hand your Honor, I am not guilty of this violation.

I was stopped at a red light on Casino Center at Fremont St. when an older couple, standing on the curb right next to my cab raised their hands indicating that they desired taxi service and asked me through my window if I could take them to Bally’s. I told them “of course” and within seconds they were in my cab. Just as my customers shut the door, the Officer rounded the corner from westbound Carson, saw that I was loading and pulled me over shortly thereafter. I don’t believe any of that differs from the officers testimony.

5 years ago during the process of obtaining my Taxicab Permit, I was required to complete a driver safety course as mandated and executed by the Nevada Taxicab Authority. Sr. Investigator Scott Henneforth facilitated the class I attended and I can only presume he was chosen as instructor for his expertise in the administrative enforcement of the taxi industry. During that training, Sr. Investigator Henneforth spoke extensively on the matter of picking up “flags“, or customers outside of cab stands. Sr. Investigator Henneforth stated that a driver could not park at a bus stop, monorail station or a limo stand or similar in an attempt to solicit, or SEEK fares. In other words the spirit of the ordinance, through the eyes of Sr. Investigator Henneforth, seemed to be that a cab is not to steal or attempt to steal business from other modes of transportation, a concept that I understand and agree with. I understand the reason why I can’t park at a bus stop and solicit business from those awaiting the bus. Furthermore, the general message from the Sr. Investigator regarding the loading of flags was that it was inadvisable from a personal safety standpoint, not in any way explicitly against the law. That was my interpretation of the Sr. Investigator’s instruction, and in focusing on the language of the ordinance itself, I believe such an interpretation is validated.

I was cited for violating L.V.O 11.60.040 and interestingly this ordinance contains a provision within it for doing exactly what I did. I feel the ordinance is very clear on this matter when it states: “This provision shall NOT prevent the operator of a taxicab from temporarily stopping, in accordance with other stopping or parking regulations, at ANY place for the purpose of and while actually engaged in the expeditious loading or unloading of passengers.” That is precisely what I did and that is the Officer’s testimony as well. I was in accordance with other parking and stopping regulations when I stopped at the red light. I expeditiously loaded the passengers. The couple placed themselves in my taxi as fast as they physically could, which was a matter of seconds. Furthermore, and to Sr. Investigator Henneforth’s point, I did not attempt to steal business from other modes of transportation nor did I even seek a fare as prescribed by the totality of the 11.60 subsection. A fare sought me. I did not solicit a fare. A fare solicited me. The raising of your arm when one is in need of taxi service is a universal form of solicitation that is bound by no language your Honor, and I made no attempts to create business that would not have been there for me otherwise.

In conclusion your Honor, I request that you dismiss this charge and enable me to continue doing my duty of serving the public, something that the State of Nevada, The Taxicab Authority, the F.B.I via a criminal background check, the Department of Transportation, a board certified Physician and a Nevada Taxicab Medallion Certificate holder have all concluded I am fit to do.




I was very pleased with how my statement turned out and was even more confident that I was going to win with it. But I think the biggest part of me was just anxious to see if a Judge would agree with my interpretation. I wanted to know I wasn’t crazy. I followed the process, as lame as it was, and in doing so I had earned the right to test my theory. I was excited I guess you could say. So excited in fact, that on the eve of my big day, mere hours before I was to finally offer my statement to the court, I got pulled over again for picking up a flag downtown.

To be continued…PART IV

Friday, August 13, 2010

L "The Ticket" Part II

ATTENTION READERS: WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS A CONTINUATION OF AN EXISTING STORY. FOR THOSE UNFAMILIAR, I WOULD SUGGEST YOU START AT THE BEGINNING.





I've read the various laws that supposedly outlaw the loading of flags however I've failed to stumble upon any rhetoric that, in my opinion, indicates that this practice is absolutely prohibited. Naturally, any law enforcement or administrative body is going to take a broad brush when it comes to the enforcement of such legislation and it doesn't take much speculation to conclude that the motives for these sorts of tactics in all likelihood boil down to money. All avenues of government are hard up for cash these days and it should be assumed that steps will be taken in attempts to remedy this problem. This spells trouble.

Although I have always had an interest in the law, I'm not a lawyer. Not even close. I'm just a cab driver who likes to read. Despite my lack of formal training, I feel that the language within the laws are simple enough and quite clear. For the life of me I can't find anything that specifically and unequivocally prohibits me from loading a nice older couple that's needing a cab to go to Bally's, and not needing to walk a number of blocks and be harassed by a inhospitable doormen to get one. You be the Judge.


Las Vegas Ordinance(LVO) 11.60.040 - Taxi stopping, standing or parking.

The operator of a taxicab shall not stand or park such vehicle upon any street at any place other than in a taxicab stand so designated as provided herein. This provision shall not prevent the operator of a taxicab from temporarily stopping in accordance with other stopping or parking regulations at any place for the purpose of and while actually engaged in the expeditious loading or unloading of passengers.

(Ord. 1589 § 11 (part), 1972: prior code § 10-18-8(D))


I had feeling that the officer was going to invoke this ordinance. It has become apparent, in polling drivers that have been cited for this, that the Las Vegas Metro Police will generally cite this ordinance, or one of it's relatives in the 11.60 subsection, when issuing a ticket for this infraction. I presume this is so because this is a city ordinance and they are the city police. As it were, the Nevada TaxiCab Authority will call up an entirely different law when issuing a citation for the exact same offense. They cite a Nevada State statute(NRS) which coincides with their standing as a state agency and offers a completely different rendering of language and as a result, an entirely different meaning. The fact that I knew what law I presumably violated, and the officer at the scene didn't, should have clued me in as to the level of muck that I was about to enter.


The first thing one must come to terms with is the fact that pleading not guilty to a traffic ticket will not be easy. It will be straight forward but it will be time consuming. It will be boring and at times it will be misleading. Their job is to do whatever they can to make the process of fighting tickets as undesirable as they legally can. Your job is to follow that process, call them on their bullshit and hope you get a fair Judge to listen to your version of the events when your day in court arrives. Perhaps the most essential part of due process is the idea that you will have be given a chance to be heard. If you are patient and you follow the procedure, you will have your day in court. And if you're lucky, the city won't feel like paying the officer an hour of overtime to appear in an attempt to substantiate a charge that didn't have any merit in the first place.

It was my day off and two days before my appear date on the citation when I first responded to the charge. The Regional Justice Center, the new courthouse downtown on 3rd & Lewis is a very nice and modern facility, housing both Justice and Municipal courtrooms. I hated the old place. After entering and dealing with the airport style security checkpoint, I put my belt and shoes back on and walked down the hall to the Traffic Citations office and waited in a short line to obtain a number. A few minutes later I handed the nice lady my ticket and she looked at it and handed it back to me along with a small white piece of paper. G872. I glanced at the monitor, G801. Walking into the large room that could double as a DMV location, I was pleased that my usual seat in the back was still available. Naysayers will argue that this is a complete waste of time but frankly, I just enjoy the opportunity to read. It's getting harder and harder to find time to read these days. This mini-prison. This DMV, is as good a place as any. It is a prison though, if you think about it. Once you are in, you cannot get out until your number is called. God forbid you not hear your number or even worse not be there when they call it. You know the second you leave to smoke or take a piss there is going to be a mass surge of numbers being called. Tellers that have been on break or on sabbatical in Europe for months will magically appear out of no where and all of the windows will open for business the second you exit and they race through all the numbers and you won't be there when yours is called. This is your nightmare. So you don't even chance it and keep your ass in your seat, you pissed on the way in anyway. Oh you're stuck alright, make no mistake about it. And when, of course, the extra tellers on sabbatical don't magically appear and a full 90 minutes later you finally hear your number, you will make your way to a barricaded concrete wall whose peak through bullet proof glass is your only link to freedom. Your only connection to the outside world, in this case the tellers, is the thick glass and the little speaker devise that works for shit. Just like in real jail. Sometimes I pretend like I really am a prisoner and the teller is actually my cousin who's here for a visitation so we can talk business in code. I walk up to the window and say something like "You'd better have good news for me Javier, I‘ve about had it with you" and then they'll say, "I'm sorry sir, I didn't hear you." If you wish to fight your little ticket you’ll have to go to prison first. You be sentenced to 90 minutes, give or take, and you won‘t be able to proceed until your sentence has been served in full. When I'm in prison, I like to read.

90 minutes and 50 some pages later the female computer voice said my number over the loudspeaker and I quickly made my way to teller station 26.

"I wish to enter a plea," I said and slid the ticket and my ID into the slot that guides it under the 2 inch thick glass.

"Ok are you pleading guilty or not guilty?"

"Not guilty."

"Ok........................."

"I'm sorry ma'am I can't hear you."

"If you plead guilty you will have to come back to court at a later date and appear with the officer who cited you."

"I'm aware of that."

"The fine as it is now is $190, if you wish to plead guilty we can drop it to $120 if you want to take care of this today. This way you won't have to come back?"

"Ma'am I wish to plead not guilty."

"Ok it's 2 o'clock right now so I'll put you in for the 3:30 preliminary session across the hall in Courtroom C," and she slid my items back to me alongside a new piece of paper.

"Very well thank you ma'am."

Phase 1 complete. I was released from prison and walked across the hall to Courtroom C. Posted in large lettering on the doors entering the courtroom are a significant number of protocols that one must adhere to when occupying the courtroom including dress codes, standards of conduct and the like. A complete lack of vacancy of seating outside the courtroom forced me to lean against a pillar before I opened my book again.

35 pages later, a large and tough looking black women, presumably the bailiff, walked out of the courtroom and barked that anyone wishing to be a part of the 3:30 session should line up and file into the courtroom in an orderly manner. Jeez what ever happened to innocent until proven guilty? First the prison-DMV and now this? The only thing missing as we slowly processed into the courtroom were shackles and a hymn.

Courtroom C is a large courtroom with many large benches but it was barely big enough to give everyone a seat. There must have been 100 people in there by the time the bailiff closed the doors and walked up to the front of the room. It wasn't hard for her to get everyone's attention, she already had it.

"I'm only going to say this one time, turn your cell-phones off! If I hear a cell phone you will be held in contempt of court and may be arrested. You are here today to enter your plea and there are 3 pleas that you can enter. Number one, guilty, which means that you admit to the charge, it means that you did it. Number two, not guilty, which means that you did not do it and number three, no contest, which means that you are not admitting guilt but you are not denying the charge or fighting the charge. Basically you did it, but you have an excuse. I'm going to be asking in a minute which of those you want to do so think about it. Also, if you plead guilty or no contest we can probably get you out of here today in a short amount of time. The Judge will hear you today if you choose and you can pay your fine today if you choose. If you want to plead not guilty then you will be given a trial date, approximately six months from now, where you can state your case to the Judge and at which the officer who wrote you the ticket will attend as well. Does everybody understand these three options?

Nobody said a word.

"Alright then, would everyone who wishes to plead not guilty please raise their hands?"

Myself and two others were the only three in the room that did.

"Alright, would you three gentlemen go the back of the room to that area there and somebody will be over to talk to you in a minute."

The three of us followed the directive and in short time the Assistant District Attorney, a young man, mid 20's, dressed in a cheap black suit came over, took our information and then one by one lead us to into a separate conference room. I was the last of us to get my time in the solitary room. Each of the two before me came back into the courtroom and sat down afterwords. Then it was my turn and the ADA came and brought me into the room and told me to sit down. After he looked at my papers briefly he said, "you're being charged for violating 11.60.040 Taxi stopping, standing and parking. You are a cab driver?"

"That's correct," I replied.

"And you wish to plead not guilty?"

"That's correct."

"This seems pretty simple, it says here that you loaded on Casino Center, outside of a cab stand. You're saying that didn't happen?"

"No sir."

"Well you know it's illegal for cab drivers to load on the street right?"

"I disagree."

"You disagree?"

"I'm not guilty sir and I'm not interested in pleading out, so unless you want to dismiss the charge; if you could just set me up with a court date then we can both go about our business and I would appreciate it."

"You realize that the officer that wrote you this ticket will be there at the hearing don't you?"

"I have been so advised."

"And you are aware that the maximum penalty for this infraction is a $1000 and it’s within the Judge's discretion to fine you that much if he finds you guilty?"

"A thousand dollars?"

"That's correct," he said seemingly relieved, "if you plead guilty I can knock it down to $190 and we can get you out of here today."

Always this notion that you won't have to come back. That's the whole model ladies and gentlemen. We know half of these allegations are horse manure and don't stand a chance in hell in court if anybody competent is on the other side. We also know, as any lawyer will tell you, that cops lie on tickets and reports. This is a known thing. So they'll bore down the entire process and do whatever they can to make it as miserable as possible, so much so that no sane person is going to want to deal with it. And they'll even give you a "discount" if you choose to avoid it altogether. It reeks of desperation.

"That's interesting," I said, "I looked at the fee schedule for this infraction before I came here and it says that the maximum penalty for this violation for a first offense is $190 and $250 for the second offense and I didn't see anything anywhere that indicated the potential for the exorbitant amount that you're describing. I would ask you to show that to me but I already got a better deal across the hall anyway. Certainly you're not trying to misinform me in an attempt to get me to change my plea are you sir?"

"I'll be back."

The man stood up, left the room and a few minutes later he came back and handed me another sheet of paper. I was permitted to leave the solitary chamber and told to wait at the teller window outside for further directive.

I didn't have enough time to get my book out again as this line was very short and only took a few minutes. I slid my papers under the 2 inch thick, bullet proof glass and a few minutes later the distant voice through the speaker-box informed me of my court date. I took out my phone and entered the date into the calendar, excited to have the better part of 5 months to conjure my defense.

To be continued...PART III

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

L "The Ticket" Part I

At least an hour of daylight remained when I picked up the older couple at Casino Center and Fremont. I was simply cruising through and got stuck at the red light when the old man waved his hand in the air indicating that he and his companion needed a cab.

It's a universal signal really. When I was in London and in need of Taxi service, I waited on the curb and raised my hand when a cab drove by. When I was in Beijing, and in need of Taxi service, I waited on the curb and raised my hand when a cab drove by. One time when I was in Chicago, and in need of Taxi service, I waited on the curb and raised my hand when a cab drove by. However in Las Vegas, this is illegal for a cab driver to do. Or so we are told and such is the practice. If you pick up a passenger that has flagged you anywhere off of a cab stand you can be cited. Or so is the status quotient.

There was no traffic to speak of and that was good because it took the old man and his wife a small bit of time to climb in. Just as they shut the door, I noticed in my mirror the Las Vegas Metro motorcycle cop turn onto Casino Center from Carson and soon he was right behind me. I only traveled a few feet before he lit me up, chirping the siren for just a second.

"Why are we getting pulled over?" the lady asked.

"I don't think he was supposed to pick us up there honey. Is that right driver?" the man replied.

"You got it sir, it's a dumb rule isn't it?" I said.

"What are we supposed to do, walk all over damnation to find a cab? You were right there!" He said.

"I know sir, as I said it's dumb."

"I've been all over the world and this is the only city I know of where you can't catch a cab on the street. That's like saying you can't see a doctor at the hospital. Why is it that way here, do you know?"

"Well it's an interesting question and I‘ve been wondering the same thing for a long time. Police write tickets to those that do it, and the courts seem to be upholding them. And the doormen do everything they can to perpetuate the myth because they want the business funneled through their stands and even the tourists reiterate it, as you just did. I've even talked to some drivers that were cited at gas stations, or other places of business, private property, where a ride presented itself. I mean think about it, I'm working and want some smokes and a cup of coffee. So I stop at the nearest 7-11, and a guy who just won a little money on the video poker machine doesn't feel like waiting for the bus anymore, so he hires me to take him home. According to some officers enforcement, this is very much illegal. What, I'm supposed to tell that potential customer to call my dispatch and wait for a cab to pick him up because the 7-11 doesn't have a cab stand? I refuse to believe that there is a law on the books prohibiting my picking up a customer at the 7-11. This is either absurd or it's incorrect. Either way maybe it‘s time to challenge it. To your question, it very much is the truth in practice yes, I'm just not so sure it's the truth according to the law."

The officer didn't take long before he strolled up to my window but I already had my documents in hand. Having gotten 8 tickets in the last 365 days and countless others before, you could say I'm getting good at this. The good news is, all 8 of those have been taken care of already and not one of them made it's way onto my record. I guess you could say that I have my resourcefulness to thank.

"Driver I need to see your license, registration and insurance card" the officer said.

I immediately handed them to him and held up my Taxicab Authority Driver Permit, "sir do you need this as well?"

"No." Metro Officers never want to see your TA permit or trip-sheet but I ask anyway. "Driver do you know why I'm pulling you over?" he said.

"Yes sir, I believe I do."

"I'll be back in a minute" he said, pleased I think, that I was doing my part to expedite the process.

A few minutes passed before the officer returned. "Driver I'm citing you for loading illegally. You know you're not supposed to pick up there. I need you to sign here, this is not an admission of guilt but a promise to appear in court on or before the date indicated at the bottom," he said and handed me a massive palm pilot looking thing.

"No problem sir, but before I do can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"What law are you citing me for violating specifically?"

He looked at me surprised that I went there I think. He took the mini computer out of my hand and said, "I'm not sure to be honest with you, I'll go find it and write it down for you."

"Thank you sir."

I laughed at the idea that the officer was not even sure what exact infraction he was writing me a ticket for. I mean, if he didn't know the law, is it even possible to have probable cause for the detention in the first place? And shouldn't you have to input this alleged infringed law into the little computer thing? Apparently not. I guess you can just enter in whatever you want.

The cop walked back to his motorcycle. "What's that all about?" my passenger said.

"Well there are a few different rules on the books that talk about this and I just want to know which one specifically he claims I violated," I said.

The cop returned, "driver I'm citing you for violating LVO(Las Vegas Ordinance) 11.60.040 loading outside of a cab stand."

"I see. Ok sir, thank you."

"Sign here."

"Ok."

I signed the palm pilot and handed it back to him.

"We're sorry that you got a ticket" my passengers said.

"That's ok," I replied "I've been trying to get this ticket for years."



...to be continued: PART II

Monday, July 12, 2010

A note to readers:

Some time ago I realized that I was approaching my 50th story. I was thinking that I wanted to try and do something special for my 50th post and it worked out that an ongoing saga, two years in the making, has culminated and will make a perfect special little story. Well here we are and the 49th story has been posted for two months now and my special little fucking story isn't done yet so we're in a holding pattern. Unfortunately, the massive length of it has caused some delays in completion. As it stands now the story is at least 5 times as long as the current longest I'll bet, and I'm not done. So in case you're wondering, this is the reason for the delay around here.

That said, I am writing, and I think it's going to be awesome, so it's just a matter of time. I hesitate however, to offer any specifics in that regard. I'm no good with deadlines anyway. I only ask for your patience and I promise there will be lots to read when I'm done.


Lastly, I thought the Q&A idea worked great. I had some fun doing that and I learned a few things, hopefully you all did as well. But we're not done with it, there where quite a few things that I'm surprised didn't come up so feel free to send additional questions my way and I will be sure to address them.

Thank you for your readership as always- Cheers!