Sunday, February 05, 2006


Two weeks ago I decided to take the plunge. Giving up all my seniority and nice cars for the chance at more dough...A lot more. After just over a year on the day shift and making good money there I finally got sick of hearing about how good the night guys had it. Hot ladies, strip club runs, hooker inquiries, massage parlors and drunk people whos tipping hands move more freely. Sounds like its right up my alley.

I showed up to work early on Monday with the hopes of getting out early and a head start on all the veterans. You see, in order to work your way up the ladder you gotta book high, you gotta bring in more dough than the other guy, whos been doing it longer, drivers a nicer car (no breakdowns) and on any given day gets an hour headstart on you. So not having to be there until 3:30 I show up at a quarter to three. Dispatch tells me Im waiting for #449. A piece of shit blazer with 200K+ on it that guzzles gas like its going out of style. Man I miss my crown vic. So I grab a seat on the bleachers and wait for my boy to get back to the yard, who has to return the cab no earlier than 3:30pm and no later than 4:00pm. 4:15 rolls around, no 449. 4:30 arrives and all the other drivers are already on the road making money and every minute that clicks by my chances of getting a regular shift and my crown vic back gets less likely. By 5 im in the office askind dispatch to find out where the hell the day driver is.

I dont know, he's not answering his radio

Finally I get dispatch to put an APB of sorts out for the fucker...asking all the other drivers to keep an eye our for him and to get his ass on the air when/if they do. At 5:45 fucker gets on the air and dispatch kindly asks him to bring the cab back to the yard before I rip his head off.

Today is going great already.

At 6:05 Im finally in my piecer jotting down my numbers and off I go, already 60-80 bucks in the hole before I even began. The first hour or so went fine other than the fact that I was stressed as fuck and taking chances I really shouldnt have. But man the AC in those Crown Vics work so good you know?

Then around 7 my day has a little glimmer of light when I pick up DJ AM at Caesars. I clowned on his friend and it was fun. Right after picking him and his friend up his friend goes:
Hey do you know who is in your cab right now?

No, and anybody who says something like that is probably a douchebag

AM thought that was funny. Im sure he gets sick of his crew riding his coattails.

...12 dollar tips always make the shitty days seem less shitty. A few hours pass and I hear over radio that the Port is a drive thru. So having to pee anyway I head there.

Parking for just a sec at the port drivers area, I run into the bathroom to take a leak. Two minutes later im fast walking back to my cab and there is a Whittlesea (another cab) parked right next to mine and the driver is looking at me....I get over there and he informs me that as he was driving by my cab (which was legally parked btw) his mirror hit mine. There is no damage but an accident is defined as "if your car touches another car" thats an accident. So he is forced to "call it in" as am I. Now calling it in means that a supervisor from each company has to come to the scene, as well as a TA officer and the insurance people to take pictures. Its a huge fucking ordeal for no reason but liability is the name of the game with these people so everything needs to be documented. So jerkoff Whittlesea driver just cost me, yep you guessed it, another hour and a half on top of the two hour late start I got.

By the time im back in service its almost midnight and there are 100 cabs at the port and no one waiting so I kill another half an hour waiting for a ride, praying that I get a good one to make up for my misfortune so far.

I pull up to blue # 15 and there is a young girl with two big ass bags waiting for me. She gives a destination of Sahara & Decatur. Visiting her parents from Ohio. Once we get up there shes lost and is unsure which direction we need to go. I say,

Just give me the address and Ill find it.

I dont have the exact address, I figured I'd remember how to get there once we got up there.

My God I fucking love today

We finally find the place and by this time there is 30 bucks on the meter. I get out and get the bags out of the trunk and she starts telling me that her folks left her money for the cab in the kitchen. Here we go again. I hold on to the bags and wait for five, she comes back down and says that her folks forgot to leave the money.

My God I fucking love today

I throw the bags back in the back of the blazer. She gets on the phone to daddy and he's in Henderson (20/25min away) and he wants me to wait there and he can pay me when he gets there.

Im not in the business of waiting

What am I supposed to do? They told me the money would be here?

If you would have told me that was the case when I picked you up I would have refused the ride, you knew that and purposely misslead me. You're 19 years old, you got in a cab without any money, its your responsibility, not mommy and daddys. Why dont I call the cops and you can explain to them how your a thief?

She's nervous at this point realizing that Im not fucking around. But in fact I was. At this point Im way to far behind to kill yet another hour waiting to arrest this girl, and I have some collateral so I give her my card....

you give me a call when you have the money, and wherever in town im at, im gonna turn on the meter and however much it costs me to get back up here you're going to owe me that on top of the 30 bucks

I drive off to the front of the complex and smartly make a call to dispatch and let them know what was going on...basically covering my ass. Dispatch informes me that Im in the right (which I knew) and to let them know when its resolved. After all half of that 30 bucks is theirs.

Now toting two suitcases around the night got normal there for a little bit. A couple of good tips, some hotties, some guy asked about how he could get a girl up to his room. I gave him a card with my referal number. That and a couple of drunks that were fun.

Its almost 3 now and Im an hour away from this day being over. Phone rings....its the girls dad.


check yourself buddy

He askes for my companies phone number thinking that he's gonna get me in trouble. I told him that my dispatch is already aware of the situation as are the cops (which was a lie) and he can call all the people he wants but if he wants his girls luggage back he needs to settle it with me.

A few minutes pass and my super calls. Basically saying that the old man has calmed down but has a MAJOR issue with having to pay me prolly another 20 bucks to bring the stuff back up there. So he askes if I would just take it back up there for the 30...

you should be happy to get the 30 man

Fuck that, he should be happy to get his stuff back, I did him a favor by not having his daughter arrested, how much would that have cost him? 50 bucks gets his stuff back, no less. Besides I can use a new suitcase or two. (which is true, I do need a new one)

My sup Ken thought that was funny and ageed that ultimately the deal is on my terms. So Ken says he'll call the guy back and tell him that he needs to work it out with me, and that I need 50 bucks.

So around 4 the girl calls me back and says that her dad wrote her check for 50 bucks and we can exchange tomorrow. I say thats fine. Shes then says

it has to be in the morning though

thats not going to happen, call me after 4pm (when im back at work), Tomorrow and we'll figure it out. Im not fixing your problem on my time.

She's pissed but what can she do? She then goes..

you'd better not go threw any of my stuff

Honey Ill do whatever I want to it, its mine until I have 50 bucks in my hand.

Given up all hope for a good day I head to the pumps, gas up and head back to the yard. Stopping at my personall car on the way to ditch the bags, only to notice a parking ticket on my windshield.

My God I fucking loved today.

Fast forward to the following day, this time I managed to get out of the yard on time. About 20 minutes into my shift she calls me up ...

my dad wrote me a check for the 50 bucks but my wallet and ID are in the bags and I cant cash the check w/o it. You need to bring my stuff back so I can get you your money.

Honey, what about this dont you understand? Thats not how its going to work. You give me 50 bucks, I give you your bags back.


not my problem

..and I hung up on her. She sure as fuck wasnt going to ruin this day as well.

A couple of hours later she calls again and says she's ready to make the exchange but asks

Can you hurry up here b/c we're going out tonight and I need my stuff

Ill call you when Im in the neighborhood. It might be ten minutes, It might be ten hours. You shoulda thought about this yesterday. I'll call you when Im close.

She's cussing at me as I hang up.

A couple of hours later I cleared at Circus Circus so I decide its time to head up Sahara 2 miles or so to Decatur and make the switch. But first I must go to my personal car and get her bags. Fully expecting a gang of fools waiting for me to kick my ass when I got there I called dispatch and let them know that if they didnt hear from me in 10 mintues, to please send the cops to my location.

I pull up, take the keys out and place them in my right hand strategically so the key is sticking out inbetween my my knuckles....If im going down at least one persons face going to get fucked up. Its illegal for me to carry a weapon so this is the best I could do short notice. But alas it wasnt needed, they were outside and actually pretty cool about it. They didnt even want to inspect the bags which suprised me b/c I told them to. Almost a full 24 hours later I get my money.

Im pulling out of their complex and radio to dispatch the code for me being alright and things are starting to look up. No sooner than I un-key the mic and put it down, my phone rings...unknown number

Hello. Is this Andrew # 96***?


Wanted to let you know that your customer called last night and there is an envelope here for you whenever you're ready

Remember the guy last night asking for girls? Fuckin A, things are looking up indeed.

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