Monday, May 01, 2006


I loaded at 16. Clean cut gentleman. Mid 30's dressed in a nice suit.

I've gotta get to the Venetian and Im in a big hurry, Im late for a meeting.

Im in a big hurry too.

My usual response when someone tells me they're in a rush.

So I decided to take the freeway instead of the surface streets. A longer route, albeit a faster one. Now any idiot in town knows that if there is one place in Vegas you don't speed, it's at the airport. I've gotten one ticket in almost 2 years at the helm and it was at the port. I ignored my better judgment in the hopes of being compensated accordingly upon arriving at our destination quickly.

So I'm laying the funk down through the airport tunnel. Going upwards of 90mph in a 55mph zone. Weaving in and out of traffic not using my signals.

Just as I'm about to merge onto I-215west I spot in the rearview a metro, lights on, in my lane at least a couple of football fields behind me.

Decision time: The cop is most likely after you. Who else could he be after? So do you stick around and find out.....or try and lose him?

Just as I'm merging to the right onto the beltway I knew that I would have about 10 seconds were he would lose sight of me.

Hey, I'm sorry're gonna be late for your meeting

What? Why? What are you talking about?

There is a cop barreling down on us right now with his lights on...I'm guessing he's after us...I don't feel like sticking around to find out so we're taking a detour....put your seatbelt on.

Are your serious? (turns around and looks)...holy crap dude you're crazy. ....yeah man lose him.

After all what did he have to lose? Besides that if we did get pulled over he would be even more late to his meeting.

So I gun it picking up speed as we're making the big sweeping right turn to merge onto I-215. Thankfully there is an exit right at the apex of the turn, out of the sight of the cop at this point I jumped off this exit which is a small side street used mostly for people needing to go to the Rental Car agencies right around there.

Fuck me man you are crazy

..coming up to an intersection I'm on the brakes hard to make a right turn onto a street that runs inbetween the two car rental places. I floor it about two blocks up and then make a left into Alamo RAC. I fly past the customer dropoff, cruising through two lanes of parked rental cars. On my left is a group of full size white vans as I'm flying though them I notice that there is an empty spot. So I come to a screeching stop, and back into the empty space. I was driving a explorer that day so the height of my cab with the sign on top and the vans were about perfect. I turned my lights off.

It was like that space had been put there just for me. I notice a lot attendant standing by the office looking right at me. Certainly wondering what the fuck it was I was doing. Just as I looked away from him, my eyes go back to the mirrors just in time to see copper cruise by at a high rate of speed. It was like it was right out of the movies.

He's after us're right, I am fucking crazy

Whatever man this is AWESOME!

Thinking the cop wouldn't double back. I gave it a 30 count and then got back on the street going the opposite direction of the cop. The way we had come in. Made a right on the side street, then left on Bermuda, left on Warm Springs and then back on the 215WB.

All in all, only costing my passenger a couple of minutes.

Ten minutes later we pull into the Venetian. Guy gives me 50 bucks for a $25 dollar meter.

You're the best cab driver I've ever had man. That was there somebody I can call or write a letter to for a commendation?

Thanks, but that's ok. I don't think anybody else needs to know about this.


Chris said...

i laughed all the way through... again...

DNA024 said...

Another classic man. You just can't make stories like this up.It's nice to keep the job new and exciting.

Anonymous said...


if ever in vegas your getting my buisness

Anonymous said...

Awesome story. Great job man- I read this page & wish I was in Vegas...

Anson said...

Hell Yeah!!!

Pat told me you knew how to drive....

Nice evasion!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Great story, great blog. Keep it up.

Anonymous said...

LMAO Man when I come to Vegas for a visit I will be looking you up if you are still kind of cabbie...I read it twice laughing my ass off the whole time

Francine2012 said...

I have to ask- but what does "16" stand for?! I went back to the post where you wrote down all the short-form stuff, but couldn't find it. Help?
and love your blog!