XXVII

My phone rang. I recognized the number as a personal of mine. A group of four guys that I had picked up at the port a few nights ago. My contact was Tony. Tony and his crew were smart, tipped me well and asked for my number when I first dropped them off at their motel. They were staying at a small motel off the strip which didn't have a cab stand and on the weekends it gets tough trying to call for a cab sometimes. Like educated Vegas visitors, they played the game correctly. With the clubs paying what they are you'd be an idiot not to offer your number and services to them in the first place anyway. Amazingly, when they called I was loaded and my passenger at the time just so happened to be going to that very motel. I was only a block away. The chances of this happening are impossible to calculate.

I'm right around the corner. I'll be there in two minutes.

Are you serious? That's great thank you.

They walked right past the passenger I had cleared ten seconds ago. Apparently they didn't notice I had just dropped off and went on thinking I am the best cab driver ever. I guess they thought I was just sitting around the corner waiting for their call or something. They actually wouldn't shut up about how "awesome" I was. I wasn't going to say anything to dispel the rumor.

They gave a destination of MGM but:

We need to stop at a ATM somewhere on the way.

No problem

We stopped at the Rebel on Flamingo/Paradise. I pull up next to one of the gas pumps and one of the guys from the backseat got out and walked inside. The other three discussed their previous nights successes and what was in store for this evenings endeavors. I was able to assist them as needed. Out of the corner of my eye I spot the blond by the bus stop. At least 6 ft tall. Tight body, big fake tits, skin tight white belly shirt, skin tight pants and high heels. She had all the signs of a working girl, but something told me she wasn't. She wore two faces. One said, "I'm sad and need a shoulder to cry on" the other said, "I need a cab". I know both of those faces so I raised my voice and asked her:

Do you need a cab?

She nodded as the 4th man returned from the ATM.

I turned, looked at my boys and asked a question I already knew the answer to:

We've got room for one more.... right?

They all agreed. So I addressed the blond again.

Where are you going?

New York-New York.

Perfect. These guys have offered to share their cab with you, they're going right across the street from where you need to go anyway, hop in.

She sat bitch in the front next to me and disclosed her sob story along the way. Apparently her and the boyfriend were at the Hard Rock down the street and had an argument. So she took off walking and had made it about a half of a mile before we found her. She had plans to take the bus back to her hotel. Actually from there she would need to take two busses. Good thing we rescued her because I am of the opinion that really hot girls have no business riding the bus anyway.

The five of us hit it off. Through my facilitation of the conversation and my boys' game she was laughing and happy with the rest of us by time we pulled into the MGM driveway.

I said to blondy:

Lemme drop these guys off first then we'll run you across the street.

Actually, if it's ok I think I'm going to get out here and hang out with these guys for a while if they don't care.

Why would that not be OK? I'm sure these guys would love to show you a good time,and I can vouch for them. They are good people....you guys have fun.

Tony said:

Hell yeah we're good people...

So my 4 pack plus 1 turned 5 pack exited my cab at the MGM. I figured I would hear from them in a few hours or so with whatever was on tap next for the evening.

My phone rang showing Tony's number less than an hour later.

Hey what's up? Everything ok? You guys aren't ready to be picked up are you?

No man, we're good. I was just calling to let you know that Scott and I just got done tag-teaming that chick.

WHAT?!

Yeah man, couldn't believe it. Not five minutes after we walked into the MGM she pulled me aside and said to grab one of my friends so the three of us could go back to her room at NYNY.

Whoa..how much?

Nothing, nada

Nah uh...

Yeah man. That girl is a freak.

I guess so. Well right the fuck on dude. I'm happy right now.

That's not all.

What?

She's trying to get a hold of one of her friends that she thinks is going to like my boys(the other two guys)

Now I know you're full of shit

No man, no bullshit....so anyway I just wanted to call and tell you that you are without a doubt the coolest fucking cab driver on the planet.

I had always kind of suspected it actually, but that shit is confirmed now.

Three valley cabbies robbed

Two nights ago three different cabs were robbed at gunpoint within a four hour stretch. The drivers were held at gunpoint and then struck in the head with the pistol. Thankfully that was all that happened. It sucked leaving the yard knowing that they were still on the loose. Luckily two of the cabs had cameras in them, and thanks to some keen police work the fuckers were caught later that night. Less than 24hrs after committing the crimes. Apparently they were planning a second string of robberies to take place that night. I think the worst part about it was the fact that they were picked up at hotels. The Luxor, Terribles and the Emerald Suites on Trop. All places I pick and drop often. This also gives you a clue as to the mental capacity of our average cracked out criminal.

Three valley cabbies robbed

Two suspects arrested in cab robberies

*XXVI Update*

Shortly after posting the newlywed story XXVI I got an email from the lovely bride Beth. I had given them my card when they were in the cab....I think I already had it in my mind that their story would end up on the blog at some point. It was awesome to hear from them and I'm glad everything is well. I thought you guys might like to read it, hopefully Beth doesn't mind me posting it. If you do then please drop me a line and I'll remove it. Also, Mr. and Mrs. Mike & Beth... this me "calling you out" for some pictures. Do it for the fans! ;)

From: "Beth"
To: andygnatovich@hotmail.com
Subject: XXVI


Hey Andy!

Glad to see you put our story up! Well, just wanted to let you know that everything is all good here in newlywed land. Everyone really did flip out when we got back. Apparently they also figured that since we got married in Vegas that they'd bet on us.....6 months is the going bet now I believe. We'll go 6 months & 2 weeks just to spite 'em.....even if we're ready to kill each other! But for real, everything's all good and I wouldn't have done it any other way.

Oh yeah, and the pics.....There's a black bar through the middle of ALL of them but like 3. The negatives too!! Ain't that some shit! Talk about an omen, if I didn't know any better I would have went straight from Walgreens to an attorney to file for divorce! Oh well, we got what we went to Vegas to get right? I'll have to e-mail you a few of the pics, that would be the finishing touch to the story.

Just perfect.

We got back to Milwaukee from Midway at 3:30 a.m. Milwaukee time (after being up at 6:30 that morning), didn't even get our freak on then got up and actually went to work that morning. Talk about a couple of nutcases.

This weekend we're going for a short honeymoon (5 days) to Florida and we've decided that we'll be back in Vegas for a REAL vacay within the next 6 months. We'll make sure to use your card and if nothin' else, we'll have to take you out for a cocktail to thank you for our wedded bliss, cuz after all, it wouldn't have happened without you! (and that's what it will say on the divorce papers too! Don't worry...you'll be called as a witness during the trial.) j/k.

Well, keep the stories coming, I've read them all. They're great and it's good to see that ours stands up to them. Talk soon!

Beth & Mike

Moral Dilemma

**Moral dilemma shall be a ongoing series in which good (karma) and evil (usually in the form of money in my pocket) do battle in my brain. Evil is batting a thousand so far.**


I was clearing at the south door at Wynn. My single passenger was drunk and after I told him the fare amount he begin fingering through his loaf of money. As he was doing that I watched a hundred fall out of the disorganized pile of cash and land on the seat 6 inches right next to him. He didn't see it, I had the eagle eye and watched it fall before the event even occured. He paid me for the ride and as he was exiting I reached back, grabbed the bill and held it up. I said as he's shutting the door:

Hey Buddy!

He didn't hear me. I rolled the back window down and gave it a good holla as he was now 15ft or so away.

HEY BUDDY!

Nothing.


I suppose I could have yelled a little louder. Perhaps I could have starting honking the horn or better yet parked it and ran after the guy.



Fuck that.





.

XXVI

I had just cleared my first ride of the day in front of SWA at 16. I closed my trunk and a young couple with no luggage walks over and asked if they could get a ride.

Anywhere else in town this would be fine and you would load them right away. However at the airport it is illegal to load at the drop-off area. You can't load there because when leaving the airport you are supposed to add the $1.20 airport fee. So when you load at drop-offs the sensor that detects which cabs come through is not located there so TA, airport security, and metro will all just assume your trying to steal a whopping $1.20 from 16. Not to mention you're backloading everyone that's staging in the pit. That's two tickets right there. Probably at least $200. But not wanting to have to go and wait in the pit and also not wanting to make these people walk all the way to the other side of the airport to get a cab, I decided to take a chance. After all, this is Vegas right?

Where are you going?

We need to go to the courthouse.

Marriage license?

Yes

I did a full 720 I think making sure I didn't see any TA, cops or brown shirts around....This was a good ride and I wasn't going to let it walk away.

Get in.

2:30:00

I thought it was kind weird that they didn't have any bags and I don't think I've ever gone from the airport straight to the courthouse. They seemed like good people so I had to ask.

So from the airport straight to get married huh?

The girl answered, I found out later her name was Beth.

Well we're only here for two and a half hours...Do you know a place we can get married?

yeah,.....but wait a minute. You're just here on lay-over and decided to get married?

Kinda, we're here just to get married, then right back home. We just landed and we have 2.5hrs until we need to be back at the airport for the flight going back. Do you think we have enough time?

I didn't know. It was rush hour and we have a long way to go, we have to go to a government agency and wait in line and that never bodes well when you're in a hurry. Plus we have to find a chapel that can get us in and out. I knew the only way these two were going to make it was it I 97'ed them and brought them back to the airport. Adding wait times for cabs onto the above and there is no way they make the deadline. But more importantly there are chapels that are friendly and I needed to find one.

2:28:11

We're not even to Trop and Swenson yet, I pick up the mic.

Ott-34 info

Dispatch

Ott-34 go ahead

Anybody know a friendly chapel real close to the 3rd and Clark?

Another driver

265

Dispatch

265 go

265

Andy, go to Stained Glass on 9th and Ogden.

I recognized the voice of a friend of mine.

That's a copy thanks Steve

They asked if they could have a cigarette and in accordance with my smoking policy I gladly allowed them and merely asked that they put the windows down. Then it occurred to them that they didn't have a lighter. Of course, airport security. I used to carry one but I don't smoke and I lost the one I had so we stopped at a gas station on Paradise.

2:18:02

Mike walked in and I called information to get the number for Stained Glass. I gave them a call to see if they could get us right in and to see what the rates were. I talked to Sheri and as expected she could get us right in. I put the phone in Beths hand so they could talk business as Mike came back with the lighter. $100 will get you the ceremony and 4 pictures. Pretty good for a last minute deal I thought.

I get the phone back and Sheri tells me to simply call them when we have license in hand and en route. No problem. We're back in the car now headed DT and our newlyweds to-be share their last cigarette as a unmarried couple. Along the way they confessed more of their story which I enquired about.

The essentials are these: They're from Milwaukee and they met in a bar 30 days ago while playing in a dart tournament. The night prior they had the idea to come to Vegas and get married, Mike had some FF miles and 12 hours later they were in Vegas, a town they had never been too for 2.5hrs then straight back home. They'd spend twice as much time flying as they would in Vegas.

Great story.

We arrived at the courthouse and I informed the couple that they weren't ditching me as their driver. I would wait for them to get the license and then over to the chapel, wait and then back to the airport. I didn't sound like that had occurred to them but it's exactly what they needed. As I said, if I just dropped them at the courthouse and went back to work they're not making it. Then I had to explain about the vultures that hang around there trying to pimp their Chapels, it's pretty pathetic. They dodged them successfully and walked in, I found a place to park and called Steve on the phone to see if there was anything else I needed to know.

1:48:22

He told me a good tip which was to call Sheri back and ask her to throw in a free video for the couple...Then she'll tell the couple that it was your idea. All to make the couple that you hooked them up. Well if you think about it, you did hook them up. Good stuff. Anyway, I called her and sure enough she was game to do that as well as throw in the entire roll of film instead of just 4 pictures. Nice

Thankfully the place wasn't that busy and they walked back out of there in less than a half an hour. Not to bad.. So I call Sheri and tell her we're on the way. It's only a five minute drive from the courthouse. We parked and I walked them in and introduced them to Sheri and told them I would wait outside. There was a homeless guy sitting in their horse-less carriage beside the building talking on his cell-phone. It was an interesting image.

1:10:27

Some time had passed and I needed to use the restroom. I walked in around to the other side of the building to the other entrance and not knowing where to go exactly I just started opening doors after I walked in. Each one was kind of a different themed chapel. There was like the mini-chapel, then the outside by a mini-pool chapel then there was the saloon-chapel and the Elvis-chapel then I opened a door to find Mike and Beth exchanging vows in a chapel. Mike and the camera both looked at me. Good thing you hooked up that free video because now you have a cameo in it....Dumbass.

Oops, sorry

I turned around walked back outside the building then back to parking lot. I found a coke machine and got a Dr. Pepper. If I can't take a leak, the least I could do is drink a Dr. Pepper. Then Sheri walked out shook my hand and gave me two twenties.

Anytime you need to get somebody married you call me ok? We'll take care of you.

No problem, thanks

Then our newlyweds walked out with video in hand. I started clapping and got Dr. Pepper all over my sleeve.....Dumbass. We got in the cab and I turned the time off off as we pulled back onto Ogden.

00:54:49

Hey you guys said you've never been to Vegas right?

Yep

Well we're good on time, what'd you say we cruise the strip on our way back. They lights are just coming on.

That sounds awesome.

Cruise we did. They shared their first cigarette as a married couple and called some friends along the way. Apparently they didn't even tell anyone they were coming. Awesome. I threw in some interesting Vegas infos which I usually do for first timers and it's fun to watch people diggin it for the first time. I wish I could see it again for the first time.

We pulled up at departures at SWA with 20 minutes to spare, literally feet from where I picked them up. The meter read $48.45. Mark gave me a fifty for the ride and a twenty for the trouble.

00:24:55

Good deal. Basically a 1/3 of the meter is mine so that's 15. Plus the 20. Plus the 40 I got from Sheri. Minus 1 for the Dr. Pepper. That's $74 by my math. Not bad for 2 hours 5 minutes and 5 seconds of work.

I took a chance in loading the newlyweds in the first place, and it paid off nicely for me. Hopefully it will for them as well.