Saturday, February 25, 2006

Had my first close call with a pedestrian tonight.....

I was leaving the Treasure Island trying to make a right hand turn on red onto the strip. I edge out enough so I can see the traffic coming from my left...looking left, looking left..waiting for my spot...lookin left, lots of traffic, edge out some more...lookin left. Finally my spot opens and Im off the brake, on the gas, turning the wheel and starting to look right all at the same time. As soon as my eyes catch up to where Im driving I see a ped right in front of me. I hit the brakes hard and my tires screech a little as this guy looks like he just shit his pants. I wasn't going that fast, I was just at a standstill and had maybe traveled 5 feet. However it was surely fast enough to fuck up this guys program.......His fear then quickly turned to anger. It was nice out so I had my windows down and "2 seconds ago shitting his pants guy" is now "tough and all up in my window guy". Saying all kinds of shit, cussing at me at whatnot.

I guess I cant blame the guy. But on the flipside it would have been an accident. Im not out here trying to kill people. Driving as long as I have its amazing that this is the first one of these I've had considering the shear number of insubordinate pedestrians in Las Vegas. Furthermore, the guy could have just as easily walked behind my cab as opposed to in front of me. I mean if your trying to cross on a crosswalk and you see a car trying to make a right on red, who is looking away from you...Common sense tells you that that "hey...The guy doesn't see me, he's looking the other direction. Maybe I should walk behind him, or stay put until he does see me...Sure I have the right of way right now but I could be right and dead at the same time".

So he is continuing letting me know what he thinks of me and again I cant say that I blame him. But then he comes out and says:

You're fucking lucky you didn't hit me man

WHAT?'re fucking lucky I didn't hit you.

There are 13 other cab companies in town, all of which are desperate for drivers. Im driving some other companies cab tomorrow meanwhile you're sitting here with a crown vic parked on top of you. But Im the lucky one.

Thursday, February 23, 2006


If you monitor your two way radio long enough you are bound to hear some crazy shit.

A while back shortly after I switched to night shift I was staging somewhere listening to the radio and this driver comes on the air in an obvious arab slang and started explaining that he was at the Rio and had two females in his cab that were being unruly and verbally abusive (not the words he used im sure) and he was refusing the ride, they were then refusing to exit the cab. So the driver is basically asking for Rio security as well as TA to respond. While he is explaining this to dispatch you can hear what sounded like two black females in the back round being very loud and saying shit thats pretty much the worst shit you could say to an honest arab man.

Now if this were me in the same situation I would like to think I could get them out of the cab without having to envolve dispatch,security or the TA and also without getting myself into trouble at the same time. But this guy was prolly doing the right thing by calling it in before it escalated and also to cover his own ass more than anything.

I found out later that this drivers problem ended without incident. Lucky for him.

A few hours later I get fucking stuck in the massive traffic jam on 15NB at like 3am. I find away around it but heard on the radio that is was a Nellis Cab (co.) envolved in a colision, and all traffic was being diverted off the freeway.

An hour later Im at home and for some reason or another I was watching local news which I never do and all the coverage is about this crash. Turns out Nellis Cab had a passanger exit his cab on 15 @ Flamingo, who then was struck by a car. At the time this was all the news that was being reported and I remebered thinking why the fuck would you pull over on the side of the freeway and let your passengers out?

I find out a day later that Nellis picked up the same two girls as our Arab friend. They were two local girls, UNLV seniors actually. They gave a destination of south LV. Shortly after they got on the freeway (not even a .5 mile) one of the females started striking the driver in the back of the head repeatedly. He pulled over for obvious reasons and one of the girls exited the passenger side of the cab and tried to run across the freeway. She was struck by a gravel truck, then an Metro squad car (who wasnt responding, wrong place wrong time) and then a buick I believe. The other girl never left the cab, and watched the whole thing happen. The freeway was closed down for hours.

Ultimately the Nellis driver was never charged or cited.

you can read about that here:

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


It was four o'clock on Saturday and I was just leaving the yard. Since moving to the night shift the Stratosphere has become my ritual first stop. It's only two blocks from our yard and it's as good as place as any to start your day. This day wasn't unlike any other so far in the first 4 minutes but while staging at the Strat I got an interesting proposition from a homeless lady.

Its not uncommon at all to have homeless people come up to your cab while your staging, usually they are trying to sell you things. Whatever the last thing they were able to pinch from the nearest souvenir shop...hey you never know when that scale model stratosphere tower or a keychain with the replica "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign on it might come in handy. Other times they are unlucky war veterans that are just looking for a handout. On this day a get this knarly looking Mexican lady whose looks reminded me of my favorite Simpsons character Hans Moleman......You know, this guy:

She wasn't carrying anything, so as she is walking over to me Im trying to think of some clever reason to not give her a dollar. After all I just got started so Ive only got ten of them in my pocket. It was a nice day out so my window was already down....

If you give me $1000 today I'll give you $2000 tomorrow

I don't know why I did it, but I decided to play along...

Wow, that sounds like a pretty good deal


Well, how do I know you have the $2000?

I have it

Where do you have it?

Its in the bank, I can get it tomorrow

Tomorrow is Sunday, the banks are closed

I tell you what, why don't you get a hotel room for us and you can do whatever you want to me until Monday and then I can get the money out


oh yeah

I don't know though...I'm still kinda unsure that you have the $2000

Well, how about you give me $300 right now and Ill give you $600 on Monday?

ehh, I think the $2000 had a nicer ring to it..maybe some other time. Give me your cell number and I might give you a call so we can do this

I think the cell number line finally made her realize that I was fucking with her, b/c she stormed off and walked to the next cabbie behind me. I doubt she had better luck with him. I mean really, I would have bought a Big Shot magnet for 2 bucks.

Thursday, February 16, 2006


You may recall a few editions ago my adventures in cab #5149. The flagship of all my employers vehicles there is no question. And by "flagship" I mean biggest piece of shit in the fleet. Since that day, I dont believe that I had been given that cab again, until last Thursday that is. The strange part about this is that the irony of the situation did not occur to me until days later.

I was working on a Thursday which is actually my Saturday. I picked up an extra shift to help my boss out with all the extra cabs the company had for CES. Its not a bad deal though, there is a lot of money out there that week. My day started out good, I got a couple of good rides from the convention center. I always like impressing the tech guys with my knowledge of the shit. I was a supervisor of the video dept. at Best Buy and commission sales "expert" at the Good Guys for the last five years prior to becoming a cabbie. I remember I had a Monster Cable guy in the car and I was reeling off everything from the 100 series up to the Z & M series...and the guy was going nuts about the fact that I knew more about his products then he did seemingly.

At about sundown I had found a ride DT and after clearing there I grabbed a spot on the Casino Center stand by Binions. Thinking Id have a few minutes with two cabs in front of me I pulled out the cell phone and gave a call to my brother in law to check up on my sister who had been in the hospital. As im having that conversation I notice a black woman, kinda long dready hair, messed up grey t-shirt and blue jeans on. Shes trying to get in the first cab and this guy drives off before her hand can get anywhere near the handle on the door. The cab in front pulls up and I pull up and this lady is visibly upset about what had just happened. The cab in front of me talks to her through the window for a minute and then she gets in. They sit there for a minute and then shes getting out, now even more pissed than she was two minutes ago and shes looking right at me.

Hey Tom I gotta let you go I got a psycho bitch 12 o'clock

My doors are locked (they were already) and I crack the window. Lady tells me that she needs to get to the UPS store on MLK & Bonanza.

Bingo, the reason other cab made her get out. This is whats considered a "short ride" Generally when you pickup DT you're headed back to the strip which pretty much guarantees you a 15+ ride. However a ride to MLK & Bonanza is only going to net you around 7 bucks, you're going to be stuck in traffic the whole way and there wont be a ride waiting there for you when you get there. However what they did was illegal. The law states that if:

1 a passenger can give at least a major intersection as a destination

2 Is orderly

3 Has money, enough for the ride

A cab driver must accept that ride.

Anyway, the lady actually looked pretty clean, and she had in her had a stack of twenty's folded in half. Prolly 10-12 bills. So at least 25 bucks. So having figured out what the deal was, realizing there was no danger and the fact that I like to do good deed once and a while, I loaded her. Hoping that she would take care of me for my kindness. Especially considering I wrote down the cabs number that was in front of me and called TA and explained the situation to them as we were on our way to the UPS store. Hopefully that guy will get a ticket.

Shortly after arriving at the UPS store I realized that my first mistake of the day was not made in loading this lady, but in unlocking the doors before she paid me. She got out of the cab and strolled into the UPS store like I wasn't even there, and also like she had done 100 times already. Fuck that...not on my watch. So I park the cab and walk into the UPS place and she's in there filling out her forms and shit.

I start getting into it big time, and everyone in line is now looking at me. Shes going off to me about cabbies are scum and this and that....on and on and on, then she just gives me the ignore treatment. Im standing right in front of her and explaining that im calling the cops and shes just staring off into space, saying nothing.

I walk outside. Fuck this bitch, I cant kick her ass but I can send her to county. Which is the next best thing I think. So having just called TA 10 minutes ago I hit talk twice on the phone and explained to the officer what must have sounded like the dumbest driver he had ever heard. I mean, think about it......I just called this guy so he could write a ticket to a cabbie for refusing a ride,...that I picked up and now need assistance in retrieving funds with. Perhaps those first guys aren't such ass' after-all. Nonetheless the officer tells me that they are busy and cant send an officer over.

So I shoulda just ducked tail and go the fuck out of there at that point. The meter amount was nothing compared to the business that I was passing up by being there. But no, I had to wait outside for this bitch to come out of the UPS store. I wait 10 minutes maybe, and she comes out. She sees me and starts walking towards the street. I pull up alongside her and just following, but laying into her at the same time. Saying some really bad stuff actually. So we make it to the street, (Bonanza) and she makes a turn to get onto the sidewalk and starts walking eastbound. Im still yelling as shes walking away from me.

As im pulling out of the parking lot there is a lot of traffic in the WB lanes. Stopped traffic actually. I need to go EB so im trying to inch my nose in the first lane and get the cars to stop so I can cut through and go the other direction. The first car stops and I wave and the second kinda looks like she wants to go but then stops and waves at me to go. Im inching forward, now blocking two lanes of traffic, looking west to see oncoming traffic. Just as my nose gets into the turning lane (or suicide lane)


I nailed a car I couldn't see in the turning lane. My front end fucked up the whole passenger side of his car. If I had been 4 feet further ahead at that exact moment I would have gotten it right in the driver door. Luckily just the whole cosmetic front end was ripped off the blazer. Right away I knew it was my fault. Regardless of the fact that he shouldn't have been traveling in that lane, its his lane and I didn't yield. Ultimately the officer explained that we were both at fault,we were both cited however I was listed as the number 1 vehicle (at fault/most at fault) b/c I caused it.

As soon as homeboy gets out of his car I had accessed the situation already (thinking we were both at fault) but he gets all up in my window talking shit and the first thing I asked him was.

are you alright?

the motherfucker thought about and then comes back with

I dont know

What an ass. I guess you cant blame him though, lawyers see $$$$ for this type of shit I bet.

So I got suspended for a week, had my job held over my head. $2000 out of my pocket, plus my lost wages. And as if that weren't enough I gotta spend $200 for a driver safety class w/ skid car training (X100). All of that might have been worth it if I fucked up 449 enough that I wouldn't have to drive it again.

**Now watch the actual video footage from the crash**

Front View-
In Cab View-

My Night at the Wynn Hotel & Casino

For now...... I have this story and all the pics hosted somewhere else so for my own mental health you can just check it out there If you want.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006


I loaded these three Mexican ladies with brochures in hand at the front door at Circus Circus. The one lady who spoke the most English sits shotgun. She gives a destination

the botanical garden
.....In broken English.

The only botanical garden I know is at the Bellagio so I ask if that's where they wanted to go, because they didn't sound sure. Upon hearing that the BG was at the Bellagio Mexi explained the best she could that they were at the Bellagio yesterday and thought the BC was somewhere else.

nah...not that I know of

So Mexi is now has the brochure fully open and then gives a second destination...

the Colorado River

(pointing to the pic of the river in the brochure)

Now this has got to be the strangest destination I've ever been given.

you want to go to the river?........ You mean you want to go to the Hoover Dam?

yes, sie....That's it

Ok wtf. I guess Im going to the Dam now. Of course Im not going anywhere near that far without a deposit. I've never been to the dam in the cab so im trying to think how much to ask for. I figured it to be around 50 or so, so thats what I asked for. She oblidged and handed me a fifty spot, no problemo. I then went on to explain, three times actually that she was going to owe me whatever the meter said when we got there, the 50 was just an estimate...and on the flip side if it was less than that I would give her change. She agreed.

I radio to dispatch to let them know Im getting out of dodge, the three ladies started a conversation in spanish and I turned on a lame FM channel. Their conversation lasted the full 40 minutes. There wasn't much traffic so it was a nice cruise..... It's always nice to get off the logjam that is the strip for a while. Even though the bastards at the cab co. disable the cruise control.

Sure enough we get about 2/3 of the way there and my estimate was way off. We were already at 50 on the meter. As predicted Mexi is showing signs that she's worried. I assured her that we were close and reminded her about what I said 40 minutes earlier. It's also worth noting that I assumed long before this happened that I would be receiving no tip for this ride.

Shortly after this Mexi starts asking me how they are going to get back and if there were cabs there. (sha right) I explained that she can pay me to wait there @ $22.00/hr or she could try and find another way back. There was no way that she was gonna pay me any more money b/c she seemed to think that I was ripping her off since the meter read 76+ when we got there. So I guess she really had no clue what she was doing 35 miles out of town 2 hours before dusk.

So as we're pulling up to this nice parking garage embedded into the mountain at the dam the dam sign reads "Commercial Vehicles 1st Level". So I take the ramp to dropoff down there and there are busses and limos down there. Immediately this security guard comes over and tells me I need to

go upstairs for car dropoff ...

I swear all security guards have small penises.

So I back out of there and follow the line of cars to the next level. At the top another security guard is collecting the $5 parking fee from the vehicles as they enter. I get there and Im just thinking shes gonna wave me by so I barely slow down,....she practically jumps in front of me to get me to stop...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? It's $5 for parking


Sir, parking is $5

That's a good story. Im not parking though, you see Im dropping these ladies off and leaving, they dont want to pay me to wait for them.

You still have to pay the $5 sir

WHAT? I went downstairs to commercial vehicle dropoff and the guy told me to drop off up here, they're not charging people downstairs! Im not paying you five bucks to drop these ladies off

....There was no way I was getting five more bucks out of Mexi + crew.

Sir, go wait over there and you can talk to my supervisor

That would be great thank you

So now we're on the upper level overlooking the damn Dam and while Im waiting for Capt. dickhead to make his way over here Im watching mexi counting out the exact change for the fare as she's asking me again how they are going to get back. I explain the situation again and I now have 65 cents rattling in my pocket. Its also worth noting that as a rule..if you're gonna stiff a cabbie you should ask for advice before doing so not after.

you can pay me to wait for you, or I would try to talk to one of those limos or buses downstairs, maybe they can help you.

As they're exiting the cab, dickhead is making his way over.....

Sir, I need you to pay the $5

Sir, can I ask you a question?

go ahead

It's $5 for parking right?


Ok. Here's the thing though. Im not parking. These ladies just exited my cab. My cab is in gear. As soon as you get out of the way, im leaving. Im not paying you the $5 for parking. It's ridiculous to charge commercial vehicles to dropoff anyway. Nobody does that.

Sir, I wouldn't do that

WTF?!!!... Dickhead explains that he was gonna call the cops over here to explain it to me, which of course are on site and dickhead has his radio in his hand. I mean God damn these people have a hard on for this five bucks. It was actually funny though I thought. I mean, I sent a guy to jail for 3 days over 11 bucks before so who was I to talk shit?

So the guy got 5 singles from me. But not before I asked for his name and his badge number.....that'll show him. At least I had a 40 min cruise to the port and the crappy tunes to look forward to.

As for the three Mexican ladies...? I have no idea what became their fate. Its also worth noting that I have since learned that there is another botanical garden in town.


It was about 2am and I found myself at the backdoor of the Spearmint Rhino which is were the dancers arrive and leave. I never stage there but this night I just happened to be dropping a girl off there when another came out who needed a ride home. Pretty hot little number. Typical stripper looks, big tits, big hair and a so so kinda face.

She's going home to the west side of town, what I estimated to be around a $35 ride. Nothing really out of the usual had occured the first few minutes...I was asking if she had a good night and whatnot. We pull up to a stoplight and out of the blue she goes:

Ya know, I like to suck cock.

To be honest I dont recall what the first thing that came into my mind was. There was a pause then I come back with:


pull over

Fuck an A, dont have to tell me twice. I pull into this business park behind a gas station. It was late and dark, a good spot. I park the cab, meter to time off, keys in pocket and get out and get in the backseat.

...yadda yadda yadda

I get back in the front leave the time off and continue to her pad. As Im getting closer to her hood Im seriously thinking about charging her for the ride, or trying to anyway. A good two minutes I was going over that one in my head. I really wanted to try just to see what her reaction would be but I couldnt do it.

One of my more memorable rides I'd have to say.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006


Its interesting the conversations a group of people in the cab will have in regards to which of them are going to pay the meter. Some of them argue over who gets to pay. Two or three or all of them insisting that they pay. "Oh you paid last time" or "hey you always pay let me". On the other side you'll get people arguing over who has to pay. "hey I paid last time" or "hey dude it's your turn". My personal favorite is the old Dutch treat. When the group decides to pay via this method it usually ends up in a big tip. =)

But all that aside. I picked up a group of 4 guys tonight all half drunk and having fun. Nonetheless I think they may have finally solved the age old debate as to who gets to or who has to pay the fare. When I asked later the guy sitting shotgun called the game "stems".

It worked out perfect for them b/c there was four of them but it could work with less people as well. Each of them as they got in the cab were choosing tires. Yes tires. One guy actually walked around the cab with beer in hand kinda of eyeballing each tire. Some closer than others. After they finally got in and Im pulling off shotgun guy tells me not to be alarmed but when they got to where they were going they were all going to jump out of the cab.

Confused at this point I made the guy explain what in the world was going on. Whatever it was it looked like fun.

It's simple: Pick a tire. After the cab comes to a stop at your destination, whosoever stem on their tire is closest to 12 O'clock pays the cabbie.

Thursday, February 09, 2006


Having taken a string of radio calls I found myself on the east side of town by Boulder Station. It was busy on the strip then so I was desperately trying to find something to take me back in that direction. I took a call at Desert Inn & Pecos. I pull up to the driveway and go knock on the door. Im looking for Kisha. A young attractive black girl comes out and says she'll be just a minute. I hate it when they're not ready when you get there. I go sit in the cab for five and then out walk these three little girls all of them carrying some type of baby stuff, then out walks Kisha with an infant in hand and her other hand is full of stuff. I get out and am help her with all their stuff. She tells me that she needs to run some errands, shes new in town and has to go to a pre school to get signup papers for her daughters, then a doctors office, then walmart, then back home. I call dispatch to let them know Im on a charter as Im thinking about all the rides Im missing on the strip right now.

About 2 mintues into the ride she's blabbering on her cell phone talking about her job at Delmonico's. But the way she is describing the restuarant is nothing like the Delmonico's that I know. It soon becomes clear that she worked at the Delmonico's in New Orleans. She goes on for a bit and then hangs up. My curiousity is struck...thinking this girl prolly has a good story to tell, I go into it. Im to the point where if I think I can learn something from you or you have something interesting to say Ill pick your brain while im driving you somewhere. Even on the off chance that you find it annoying.

you're from NOLA?

She then reveales the goods. Born and raised in NOLA, worked at Delmonico's there for 5 years or so. She had just made Captain a week before Katrina hit. She lost everything she owned. Her house, her car, all of her daughters' stuff. Everything that they couldnt carry between the 5 of them they lost. They made it to the Superdome and were there for 3 days/nights. She said she decided to sleep outside the whole time because inside was where all the crazy stuff has going on. No food, no water, no nothing and all kinds of undesireables roaming around. Really the worst place imaginable for a single mom with 4 little girls.

One night a mother and a father who apparently lost their little girl spent the entire night walking around the grounds yelling her name...


Kisha tells me that was her most difficult night. Having to listen to those people all night.

If I ever have another little girl I think im gonna call her Jada

Yeah...that sounds nice

After the superdome for three days they got on a bus and ended up in Houston. They stayed there for another four days. Then Kisha had a friend in Las Vegas that she was finally able to get ahold of. She offered them a place to stay and informed Kisha that there is a Delmonico's here at the Venetian. Having no where else to go and nothing else to do Kisha' friend drove to Houston picked the five of them up and brought them here. Four days later she walked into Delmonico's and they informed her that they were over-staffed but made a quick call to Emeril's Fish House @ the MGM. They, considering the circumstances and her experience got her a job on the spot. I found her the day before she was to begin work. In fact I explained the best route to take from her friends house to the MGM.

I dont know what it was about Kisha. I was really takin by her. I mean here is a person who lost everything and she just had this determination about her that was beyond impressive, this gleam in her eye. Nothing was going to stop her. It was the strangest thing. I have never gotten a vibe like that from a passanger. It wasnt the hurricane disaster that made me think that was just something about her. ...almost two weeks later I still dont know what it was that struck me about her, and I still cant find the right words to describe it...except to say that she was amazing, really. It sounds corny to those reading this Im certain but im telling you it was amazing.

I had ton of questions for her about her ordeal but she kept blabbering on like she was the next coming of the micro machine guy. I think maybe I was the first person that she could vent to. I got a whole hour and a half of that, but it was all my pleasure.

So 90 minutes and four errands later we pull back into her friends driveway. $61.95 is what the meter read. Lately it hasnt been umcommon for me to give out a free ride to someone that I deemed worthy and I really wanted to not charge Kisha but considering the amount of the charge I really couldnt do it. I get out and am helping carry all the stuff to their front door and Kisha says shes gotta run in real quick and get my money. I say bye to the girls and im leaning on the cab. She runs out and thanks me for everything and hands me some cash that is neatly folded twice. Im not going to sit there in front of the customer and count the money so I say thanks and stick the money in my breast pocket of my shirt and hop in the cab and pull out of there with a smile on my face.

The first stoplight I get to I reach in my pocket and start counting. Kisha had just handed me $120. Thats right $120 from a single mom who had just lost everything that she owned including her entire hometown. A $58.05 tip from a single mom who doesnt have anything to her name. And to top it all off, a $58.05 tip is THE largest I have ever received in over a year of driving now. Gotten many a fiftys, but never more. All of a sudden I didnt care that the strip was busy and I was miles away from it.

Kisha, if you're out go girl.

Monday, February 06, 2006


Two nights ago I picked up at the Wynn Tower Suites around 10 o'clock. The Tower Suites have a seperate entrance on the south side of the complex and are reserved for the super rich and the super snobs. It's my understanding that you have to either be a rated player at 1.5mil (per year) or somebody important to stay stay there. Even when you drop off there these security guards will check the name of your passanger on the guest list before they will let you even drive up to the door. This night I happened to be cruising by on Sands ave. along the south side of Wynn empty so I decided to duck in and see if I could score a ride. Which had been working the last few times.

As soon as I pull up the security guards notice me and and begin franticaly waving me through to go up to the door to pick someone up. As I pull up there is a couple there, a really hot blond with a big rack and a dude with long black hair. I immedietly recognize him as Criss Angel, the "Mind Freak". I help the bellman with their luggage and then hop in the cab. Never being one to feed someones ego I didnt let on that I knew who he was.

They gave and destination of the airport and Criss told me that they would be flying on two different airlines and asked if I could make two stops so one of them didnt have to walk, this is not unusual in an instance like that so I say, no problem.

Per usual I begin making chit chat and the three of us started discussing current events. The idiot who ran over 15 people on purpose along the strip killing two and the succesfull crash landing of the JetBlue jet at LAX which had both happened the day prior. We had a good conversation and Criss seemed like a really down to earth, quality dude. I made a comment about how commercial airline pilots are probably more qualified to do their job than a doctor or a lawyer considering the amount of hours they have to fly and sceniorios such as that one that they have to practice to even get to that level. Criss responded with

yeah....thats a good point

We arrive at the port and Criss' airline was up first, so I pull over and pop the trunk and start getting his bags out. They get out and started making out and saying goodbye. Criss hands me a 20 for the 13+ fair and asked that I make sure his girl got to her airline alright.

of course, thanks(for the tip)

I get back in the car and they are still going at it a little bit and I steer my head around to get a looksee. Nothing eventfull happends and blondy gets back in the cab. I pull off and start heading to her airline check in. Not three seconds after that she goes:

what a freak that guy is a not so subtle attempt to 1) See if I knew who he was, and 2) make herself look and feel cool in the process. I decided to continue with the playing dumb card and ignore the not so vague reference. At this point there is a pause and I can tell that its killing her. I mean she just has to inform me as to who she was just fucking and how cool she is, so she goes into it:

Do you know who that was?


That's Criss Angel the "Mind Freak"

Who's that?

He's a street magician, he does all kinds of crazy shit....he has a show on A&E

I've never heard of him

Have you heard of David Blaine?

Yeah that guy is amazing!

Well he does stuff like that, only better

Oh, okay

..and with that we pulled up to her airline and I dropped her off in all of her apparent frustration.

After dropping her off I cruised around the airport loop to go to the pit. Stage for about ten minutes and then load these four ladies. A Mom and her sister brought her twin daughters to Vegas for their 21st birthday. Moms is sitting shotgun and her and I are talking about Vegas do's and dont's and what not. Like many others her curiosity turns towards my life as a Las Vegas cabbie....

you must pick up a lot of freaks in this cab huh?

Sunday, February 05, 2006


Two weeks ago I decided to take the plunge. Giving up all my seniority and nice cars for the chance at more dough...A lot more. After just over a year on the day shift and making good money there I finally got sick of hearing about how good the night guys had it. Hot ladies, strip club runs, hooker inquiries, massage parlors and drunk people whos tipping hands move more freely. Sounds like its right up my alley.

I showed up to work early on Monday with the hopes of getting out early and a head start on all the veterans. You see, in order to work your way up the ladder you gotta book high, you gotta bring in more dough than the other guy, whos been doing it longer, drivers a nicer car (no breakdowns) and on any given day gets an hour headstart on you. So not having to be there until 3:30 I show up at a quarter to three. Dispatch tells me Im waiting for #449. A piece of shit blazer with 200K+ on it that guzzles gas like its going out of style. Man I miss my crown vic. So I grab a seat on the bleachers and wait for my boy to get back to the yard, who has to return the cab no earlier than 3:30pm and no later than 4:00pm. 4:15 rolls around, no 449. 4:30 arrives and all the other drivers are already on the road making money and every minute that clicks by my chances of getting a regular shift and my crown vic back gets less likely. By 5 im in the office askind dispatch to find out where the hell the day driver is.

I dont know, he's not answering his radio

Finally I get dispatch to put an APB of sorts out for the fucker...asking all the other drivers to keep an eye our for him and to get his ass on the air when/if they do. At 5:45 fucker gets on the air and dispatch kindly asks him to bring the cab back to the yard before I rip his head off.

Today is going great already.

At 6:05 Im finally in my piecer jotting down my numbers and off I go, already 60-80 bucks in the hole before I even began. The first hour or so went fine other than the fact that I was stressed as fuck and taking chances I really shouldnt have. But man the AC in those Crown Vics work so good you know?

Then around 7 my day has a little glimmer of light when I pick up DJ AM at Caesars. I clowned on his friend and it was fun. Right after picking him and his friend up his friend goes:
Hey do you know who is in your cab right now?

No, and anybody who says something like that is probably a douchebag

AM thought that was funny. Im sure he gets sick of his crew riding his coattails.

...12 dollar tips always make the shitty days seem less shitty. A few hours pass and I hear over radio that the Port is a drive thru. So having to pee anyway I head there.

Parking for just a sec at the port drivers area, I run into the bathroom to take a leak. Two minutes later im fast walking back to my cab and there is a Whittlesea (another cab) parked right next to mine and the driver is looking at me....I get over there and he informs me that as he was driving by my cab (which was legally parked btw) his mirror hit mine. There is no damage but an accident is defined as "if your car touches another car" thats an accident. So he is forced to "call it in" as am I. Now calling it in means that a supervisor from each company has to come to the scene, as well as a TA officer and the insurance people to take pictures. Its a huge fucking ordeal for no reason but liability is the name of the game with these people so everything needs to be documented. So jerkoff Whittlesea driver just cost me, yep you guessed it, another hour and a half on top of the two hour late start I got.

By the time im back in service its almost midnight and there are 100 cabs at the port and no one waiting so I kill another half an hour waiting for a ride, praying that I get a good one to make up for my misfortune so far.

I pull up to blue # 15 and there is a young girl with two big ass bags waiting for me. She gives a destination of Sahara & Decatur. Visiting her parents from Ohio. Once we get up there shes lost and is unsure which direction we need to go. I say,

Just give me the address and Ill find it.

I dont have the exact address, I figured I'd remember how to get there once we got up there.

My God I fucking love today

We finally find the place and by this time there is 30 bucks on the meter. I get out and get the bags out of the trunk and she starts telling me that her folks left her money for the cab in the kitchen. Here we go again. I hold on to the bags and wait for five, she comes back down and says that her folks forgot to leave the money.

My God I fucking love today

I throw the bags back in the back of the blazer. She gets on the phone to daddy and he's in Henderson (20/25min away) and he wants me to wait there and he can pay me when he gets there.

Im not in the business of waiting

What am I supposed to do? They told me the money would be here?

If you would have told me that was the case when I picked you up I would have refused the ride, you knew that and purposely misslead me. You're 19 years old, you got in a cab without any money, its your responsibility, not mommy and daddys. Why dont I call the cops and you can explain to them how your a thief?

She's nervous at this point realizing that Im not fucking around. But in fact I was. At this point Im way to far behind to kill yet another hour waiting to arrest this girl, and I have some collateral so I give her my card....

you give me a call when you have the money, and wherever in town im at, im gonna turn on the meter and however much it costs me to get back up here you're going to owe me that on top of the 30 bucks

I drive off to the front of the complex and smartly make a call to dispatch and let them know what was going on...basically covering my ass. Dispatch informes me that Im in the right (which I knew) and to let them know when its resolved. After all half of that 30 bucks is theirs.

Now toting two suitcases around the night got normal there for a little bit. A couple of good tips, some hotties, some guy asked about how he could get a girl up to his room. I gave him a card with my referal number. That and a couple of drunks that were fun.

Its almost 3 now and Im an hour away from this day being over. Phone rings....its the girls dad.


check yourself buddy

He askes for my companies phone number thinking that he's gonna get me in trouble. I told him that my dispatch is already aware of the situation as are the cops (which was a lie) and he can call all the people he wants but if he wants his girls luggage back he needs to settle it with me.

A few minutes pass and my super calls. Basically saying that the old man has calmed down but has a MAJOR issue with having to pay me prolly another 20 bucks to bring the stuff back up there. So he askes if I would just take it back up there for the 30...

you should be happy to get the 30 man

Fuck that, he should be happy to get his stuff back, I did him a favor by not having his daughter arrested, how much would that have cost him? 50 bucks gets his stuff back, no less. Besides I can use a new suitcase or two. (which is true, I do need a new one)

My sup Ken thought that was funny and ageed that ultimately the deal is on my terms. So Ken says he'll call the guy back and tell him that he needs to work it out with me, and that I need 50 bucks.

So around 4 the girl calls me back and says that her dad wrote her check for 50 bucks and we can exchange tomorrow. I say thats fine. Shes then says

it has to be in the morning though

thats not going to happen, call me after 4pm (when im back at work), Tomorrow and we'll figure it out. Im not fixing your problem on my time.

She's pissed but what can she do? She then goes..

you'd better not go threw any of my stuff

Honey Ill do whatever I want to it, its mine until I have 50 bucks in my hand.

Given up all hope for a good day I head to the pumps, gas up and head back to the yard. Stopping at my personall car on the way to ditch the bags, only to notice a parking ticket on my windshield.

My God I fucking loved today.

Fast forward to the following day, this time I managed to get out of the yard on time. About 20 minutes into my shift she calls me up ...

my dad wrote me a check for the 50 bucks but my wallet and ID are in the bags and I cant cash the check w/o it. You need to bring my stuff back so I can get you your money.

Honey, what about this dont you understand? Thats not how its going to work. You give me 50 bucks, I give you your bags back.


not my problem

..and I hung up on her. She sure as fuck wasnt going to ruin this day as well.

A couple of hours later she calls again and says she's ready to make the exchange but asks

Can you hurry up here b/c we're going out tonight and I need my stuff

Ill call you when Im in the neighborhood. It might be ten minutes, It might be ten hours. You shoulda thought about this yesterday. I'll call you when Im close.

She's cussing at me as I hang up.

A couple of hours later I cleared at Circus Circus so I decide its time to head up Sahara 2 miles or so to Decatur and make the switch. But first I must go to my personal car and get her bags. Fully expecting a gang of fools waiting for me to kick my ass when I got there I called dispatch and let them know that if they didnt hear from me in 10 mintues, to please send the cops to my location.

I pull up, take the keys out and place them in my right hand strategically so the key is sticking out inbetween my my knuckles....If im going down at least one persons face going to get fucked up. Its illegal for me to carry a weapon so this is the best I could do short notice. But alas it wasnt needed, they were outside and actually pretty cool about it. They didnt even want to inspect the bags which suprised me b/c I told them to. Almost a full 24 hours later I get my money.

Im pulling out of their complex and radio to dispatch the code for me being alright and things are starting to look up. No sooner than I un-key the mic and put it down, my phone rings...unknown number

Hello. Is this Andrew # 96***?


Wanted to let you know that your customer called last night and there is an envelope here for you whenever you're ready

Remember the guy last night asking for girls? Fuckin A, things are looking up indeed.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Super Bowl Weekend

Lots going on this weekend. The World Market Center, the new furniture showcase in LV which is only open for two weeks out of the year was open all week. Furniture store owners/buyers come from all over the world to get their goods for the next season of sales, to the tune of ~35K. Tonight (friday) Coldplay was sold out at the MGM and the airport had tons of arrivals all night. Plus the Hooters Hotel & Casino opened this weekend and they were packed. There was a line to get in and tons of people outside all night. On Saturday the UFC is at MB and thats sold out as well. And of course the "big game" on Sunday.

I wish I could say I was going to the UFC. I go to those fights quite a bit. Lots of fun....but alas duty calls. There are extra cabs on the road this weekend which means getting time off is impossible. It also means that sometimes the line of cabs at a stand is out to the fucking street and you cant even get on the stand at all. Couple that with power starving rent a cops that seem to think cabbies are the scum of the earth and the impossible traffic make for a fun night. Im not going to bitch that much though.

I still walked with 231 tonight. Not bad considering the strip clubs arent tipping anymore. Ya see for a while there, strip clubs were paying HUGE amounts of money for every customer you bring them. Some of them got up to $70 a head! This changed the game dramatically. Thats right kids you get four guys who want some boobs in their face in you cab..."hey cabbie, whats the best strip club in town?"......dont worry guys I know just the place. ;) So thats 280 right there. Fifty bucks more than I made in 12 hours tonight in 12 minutes. If you're really lucky they will pay you for the ride too with a good tip because you knew a good place to go. ha ha. On the other hand, you usually had to work it to get those rides though. Anything from free rides, to giving them cash out of your pocket. It was nuts. But that all ended in mid dec. All the clubs got together and agreed to stop paying. The only ones that didnt go in on the agreement are still paying but they're the full nude places with dont serve booz so no one wants to go there. The vets will tell you that this has happened before and they'll start paying again. I'm not so optamistic. Time will tell.

...So if you havent caught on to the formula here yet allow me to fill you in. The Roman Numeraled Titled posts will be the CC'. True events that I either find funny or interesting or hopefully both. Likewise I hope that you do as well. The ones I have already posted here and the next 6 or so are copied from another board that I had them on already.(what up p-hook?) After I get this site completely updated then I'll just be posting stories as they occur. Inbetween those I'll be around to fill you in on the day to day happenings and the business and politics as well. Or anything else that you might want to know about.

I'll take the Hawks plus the 4.5

Friday, February 03, 2006


I managed to score a ride DT from MB, right as im leaving the Plaza the security guard at the Greyhound bus station flags me. I pull over and he helps a blind lady into the car. She needs to go to the Riviera. Shes about 70 carrying a handbag and a cane. She's not wearing sunglasses and her eyes are driving me nuts in the rear view.

Im making chit chat as usual and ask if she was completely blind or if she could see anything. She explained that she has been completely blind her entire life. I asked where she was from and she reply'd with "DC". Then it dawned on me......this lady took the goddamned bus from fucking DC. "with a changeover in dallas" ....thats crazy, blind ladys been on a bus for 8 days. Then she explains that they lost her bags (hence only the handbag) and she has never been in vegas before and doesnt know anybody here. Im thinkin damn, old blind lady takin it to the people, watch the fuck out! She's here for a convention for blind people. Im sure the Riv is loving having 3000 blind people roaming their property....

anyway on to the story.....We get to the Riv, meter reads $9.45. I get as close to the front door as I can and tell her how much it is. She pulls out her cash thats all bank faced still in the white envelope and starts thumbing though the bills.......lady hands me a $1 bill finds a one dollar bill and hands it to me:

here is $10

Im sorry maam, thats a one dollar bill

no its not, thats a ten sorry, thats a single

why are you trying to steal from me?

This is a first. I mean how cliche is stealing from an old blind lady? Who does that?

But the question remains. How do you prove to the blind lady that what she's handing you is not what she thinks it is? I thought about it some more.

maam, If I wanted to steal from you I would have already

whats that supposed to mean?

No offense maam but it would have been real easy for me to drive around town a few times running your meter up. I brought you straight here. Or better yet if you're going to believe me when I tell you the meter is $9.45 then you have to believe me when I tell you that thats a $1 bill

The more I started making sense the more upset she was getting. Lucky for me, I never took the bill out of her hand or turned the meter off....

maam, tell you what, why dont I go get the bellman and you can show the bill to him, and I'll show him the meter.....will you accept whatever he say's they are?

yeah, thats a good idea

Of course it is.

So I go run down the bellman and dudes way stressed, he's by himself, got two shuttle busses loading, this other jerkoff in his face, me in his face and about 25 or so blind people wondering about pretty much aimlessly. Needing help finding registration I guess. But I get him to come over right quick and he was able to verify what I knew all along. Then gave me a real 10 spot.

Thanks for the tip. Thats what you get for playing it straight I guess.


Left the yard this morning around 4 and went straight to my usual stop, Cheetahs. Waited 3 min. Guy comes out with a hooker friend. They get in and say Ballys. Off we go, dudes drunk as hell, hooker friend is trying to make conversation with this guy making me laugh. We get to Ballys they both get out. I roll my window boy never comes over to the window so I get out of the car and start walking around. Hooker friend is walking away.

thats 10.70 man


dont tell me to relaxe man. 10.70

I have to go inside, the FD owes me money

Here we go.

...Guy starts walking away and I step infront of him and told him to give me his wallet. He threw his wallet at me and walked away. I open it, a bunch of those empty CC sleave things, and AARP membership card. A hotel baggage claim ticket (score). Just then hooker friend walks back over and asks me if I can take her somewhere.

Real fucking funny bitch you owe me 11 bucks

I dont owe you nothing got in my fucking cab didnt you? I brought you here!

so? she walks away. Nicely played on her part.

Decision time: waste an hour or more costing you prolly another 30 bucks or more calling the cops and tracking this fool for the 11 he doesnt have. Or eat it, roll out of there and let the fucker get away with it?

I called the cops. Fuck that guy thats why.

I park the cab by valet and go into Ballys. A stoke of luck I find the guy. I informed hotel security and asked them to keep their eyes on him until the cops arrive. Security guards are the most bored people on the planet. They are always willing to help. Cop shows up and loser starts getting lippy. He's getting way out of line, saying shit that you dont say. The the cop puts his gloves on.......Note to loser: when Cop puts his gloves on, that means shut the fuck up man. He doesnt want to get any blood on his hands. The whole time the guy is begging the cop to arrest him...

I could use a couple of free meals.

So cop comes up....and is asking me what I want to do. He explained that he can arrest him, (and the guy had no ID which means he's JD which means he'll be in for at least 3 days proly 5-7. They wont release him until they can positvely ID him), he could write loser a ticket and let him go, or just let him go. I told the officer it was really his call and apoligized for wasting his time for a meger situation. That said:

arrest him, thats the only way he's gonna learn. besides he's just gonna get in another cab, rip that guy off and you're gonna have to deal with it again. Also fuck him, thats why.

Cuffs are on, we're outside filling out reports and as soon as loser finds out he's going in for a week he starts changing his story saying we can call his wife in CT. and she can wire money for payment. Cop looks at me.....

Sure man, I just want to get paid.

We go upstairs to the security room and the cop calls the wife and lets her know whats up...hey we're gonna arrest your hubby if you dont send some cash. The wife wants to talk to loser, the cop holds the phone (dude still in cuffs), im standing right there......

Loser (word for word)
Honey, you wouldnt believe the story. I was at Caesars with this hooker. And she was hot. And now I dont have any money.

I couldnt contain myself I was geekin so hard and the cop was fucking rolling too. Loser, your calling your wife because she needs to send you 20 bucks or else your going in for a week, not to mention the 15 hundy or so in fees your gonna have to pay and the first thing out of your mouth is "honey I got a hooker and she was hot"? And you couldnt have just said hooker, you had to throw in the HOT? I have to give you big points for style though. Have fun in county bro.


Picked up this lady at the convention center, going to the airport. She had these two big ass elongated boxes that took me forever to get both of them to fit in the trunk....She said she was late getting to airport. Arent they all? So I layed the funk down all the way to 16 hoping to be compensated accordingly on the backend...she talked on her cell the whole time.....

...We pull up to her gate and she asks if I can change a hundy (which always pisses me off), then she tells me that the boxes are to big for her to take on the plane and she said I could have them if I wanted them. so I said "whats in um" ....turns out she's in town for some home design show or some bullshit and these boxes are a "wall sculptures" she then said they retail for 800-1000.

Whatever lady, Im not ditching your trash for you

After all Im at the airport, whomever I pickup next is gonna have luggage and my trunk is packed full.

Then she gives me her card and says that if I dont like them to email her and she would send money to ship it back to her......yeah right. Anyway I decided to take them nonetheless. I was interested to see what they were and was having a good day already anyway so I decided to deadhead all the way across town to my car to ditch the boxes.

I just got home and opened this thing up and they are pretty fucking awesome. I must say and I would also say that it prolly does sell for as much as she said....they're pretty big at ~ 50" wide and 34" tall. They look great on my walls too.

Gotta be the most interesting tip i've gotten. I found pictures of them.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

The Cabbie Key

To make my typing go faster I'll use some Cabbie terms from time to time.

port - Airport
T2 - Terminal II
(the)Nut - First cab in line, next for pickup
TA - Taxicab Authority. Governing body for taxis, a division of Metro.
the yard - Home base, company station. Where you pick up and drop off the cab everyday.
Wide - No cabs waiting in line at a stand
Wide and Waiting - No cabs in line, people in line for cabs
Side - Monies received from means other than the meter. i.e. Tips, referral fees, payouts etc.
Friendly - A business that pays you to bring them more business
the Pit - The stand at the port. 14 rows of ~ 15 cabs
Drive thru - When the port is wide and waiting
a Personal - A regular customer.
DT - Downtown
Medallion - a removable 4 X 6 license plate place on left rear 1/4 panel of cab. The TA regulates the number and type of medallions issued. There are a few types of Medallions. Medallions determine where a cab can and cannot legally pick up. Upon loading, a cab can drop off anywhere.
Deadhead - Driving without a passenger(s)
Run out - Passenger who takes off before paying or refuses to pay
Long hauling - Taking a passenger a route other than the most direct one.
A flag - A passenger you picked up off the street as opposed to at a stand.
Loaded - Passenger(s) in the cab
Clear - No passengers in the cab
(a) 97 - A charter


It was about 4 in the morning and I was empty at the Mirage. It was wide so I pulled right up to the stand to find a guy standing there with a piece of luggage. I pop the trunk and get out and before I even got close to this guy I could smell the booz. I put the bag in the trunk and he goes:

Can you take me to the airport, United?

Nowadays I wouldnt have loaded this guy most likely because he was really drunk and Im more afraid of a dude puking in the car than I him pulling a gun in my car, nonetheless I loaded him.

He was passed out in the back before I even got off Mirage' property. Now at this point some drivers might longhaul the guy bigtime but thats not really my style so I took a slow cruise to 16.

As we pull up to the United stand:

Hey man..we're here United........HEY man..we're here UNITED.......WE'RE HERE UNITED!

Nothing, so I get out walk around and open his door and start tapping his shoulder. Next thing you know Im shaking him pretty good before he finally wakes up and looks at me with these half open blood shot eyes and goes:

Can you take me to the airport, United?

Again I probably should said, sure no problem and took a spin around the beltway a few times but I finally got him and his bag out and he gave me a twenty.

I doubt United let him on a plane.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006


--Picked up a chick at the Paris early morning hours, town was dead. She got in the cab wearing a short mini skirt and a blouse that enabled me to see everything. She was crying her eyes out and extremely upset. This girl was smoking too. I usually dont have a thing for Mexican broads but this girl was bangin. Having the keen sense of awareness that I do, I quickly became the "shoulder to cry on". After some urging she explains that her boyfriend had hit her and she was leaving him. She then explained that the cops & hotel security arrived and tried to settle the dispute, at which time the guy says that he "doesnt want that bitch in his life anymore" and wants all the clothes back that he bought her. So she takes all of the clothes out of her suitecase and threw them on the bed (when I found her she had no luggage) Then she tells me that the boyfriend wanted the clothes that she was wearing because he bought those too. She refused. The cops sensing the chance to see some T & A told her that if he bought the clothes she had to give them back, they then told her she had to undress in front of all of them. She couldnt go in the bathroom becuase they didnt know what she might do in there. Which was most likely why she was freaking when I found her. I couldnt help but think, damn thats hot. Fucked up, but still hot. That sounds like some kinda porno beginning. Its worth noting that the boyfriend called her a few times during the ride and I heard some rather interesting screaming in spanish. Upon arriving at Harrahs she handed me 6 ones for a 5 +change ride. I enjoyed watching her walk away though.

--Picked a guy up at the port was taking him to Rainbow & Wigwam. I figured him for a local but it turns out that he is a home theater installer pro from LA who's in town to fix Penn's (from Penn & Teller) home theatre system. So I got to see Penn' house. Big, but looked more like a office building than a house. Really wierd looking actually. Also, take a guess what kinda car that guy drives? Keep in mind he's a half looney 6'5" person......Guy drives a Hot pink Mini. He has two of them actually, a backup for when one is in the shop I guess. Teller on the other hand, has the Co. limo pick him up.

--Was leaving the Mirage last week...tons of people walking by on the crosswalks and what not, usual for the strip, then I see Randy Johnson walking in the crowd. The big unit! Nobody is even realizing who they're walking next to. This guy is a first ballot HOF for sure. He looked right at me as he crossed in front of my cab as I was sitting at the light and I didnt say anything b/c im not the type. But I always think it's cool to see someone that is great.

--Picked up a family at the MGM a few weeks ago, they needed to go to the Washington Mutual bank a couple miles down on Tropicana and Eastern. I shoulda known right then.

Anyway we're halfway there and the Dad tells me that he doesnt have the money for the fair but thats why they're going to the bank and if I wait for him at the bank he will pay me and then take them back to MGM. I agreed (rolling my eyes) and I informed him that I was leaving the meter on while he was inside, and that the family needed to stay in the car. We get there and he's in there for what seemed like forever and he comes back out and tells me that his account is overdrawn and he cant get any cash. (meter read $13 something at that point) So Im thinking "great here we go" I told them:

Fine, Ill take your ring, your watch, and all the jewels that your wife has on

Guy had a nice looking Marine WWII ring, a ok looking watch, and his wife had a bunch of stuff on that looked like mostly costum stuff.

......So he about flips out when I say this and he's this big black dude thats almost as big as me. So I explain that he can 1) give me the $13, 2) give me all the jewels, or 3) I can call the cops at which point somebody is getting arrested. Now he's really flipping out and he storms back into the bank. At which point I turn around and told the wife to give me all of her jewels, she oblidged b/c she was scared at this point and she knew I wasnt fucking around, she also mentioned that there was:

there's no way you're getting his miltary ring

How much you wanna bet?

....Waiting a little bit longer I locked my car up, (with the family still in it) and walked into the bank, raised my voice and said:


Everybody in the bank was looking at him wondering what the fuck was going on making me laugh. After he came outside I told him to give me his watch and his ring.

Do you really want to go to jail right now here in front of your wife and kid?

Still pissed he too realized that I wasnt kidding around so he oblidged as well and I let the family out and left them there. Thankfully I was close to the port and was picking up in no time. Back to work.