Friday, June 29, 2007

I got served. It's so on.

The loud knocking at the door startled me as I was sitting in front of this very computer. The Mormons never come after dark, my neighbor is nice enough just to call me when the music is to loud and I wasn't expecting any lady callers tonight so to say I was surprised by the three monotonous knocks would be an understatement. I got up from this comfortable chair and made my way to the front door, turning on the porch light and looking through the peephole once I arrived. My peek yielded no fruit but I unlocked and opened the door anyway. There was no one there, however I quickly noticed the large manila envelope staring up at me from my welcome mat.

It wasn't a normal manila envelope. You know the kind with the hole in the center of the lip and the little wing nut looking thing attached to the backside of the envelope? This wasn't one of those. This one had a red nickel sized piece of cardboard on the lip side and a similar one on the backside of the manila. A little red string wrapped around each kept the envelope from opening. There are good manila envelopes and bad manila envelopes, this most certainly was going to be a bad one. I had no doubts.

All my debt is taken care of so I ruled out the collectors as I opened the manila to reveal about ten sheets of paper. The first two were stapled together and had some really official sounding phrases typed onto it like, "State of Nevada", "County of Clark" and "Affidavit of Service". These sheets looked like the most uncool Mad-Lib ever. I say that because there were many spaces on this form left empty and waiting to be completed. The second 8 pages or so were stapled together as well and had some sweet sounding phrases such as: "Las Vegas Justice Court", "General Allegations" and "Defendant" preceding my name.

Further reading disclosed the real dilemma. I'm being sued. According to the resident ambulance chaser, I "negligently operated my vehicle" and as a direct result of that the plaintiff (a.k.a. the prick who was also cited at the scene) sustained injuries to his "back, shoulders, bodily limbs(apparently there are other kinds of limbs) organs & systems...all or some of which conditions may be permanent and disabling, and all to Plaintiff's damage in sum in excess of $5,000."

Sued by that fucking prick that I was involved in my last accident with...a year and a half ago. Interesting that this story resurfaces again. You can read it again for the first time and watch the videos of the crash HERE. What a joke. As I said before and I'll never forget that douche bags first comment to me. We both exited our vehicles and the very first thing out of my mouth after he stopped cursing at me was:

Are you OK?

Douche bag looks at me, looks at the cab, looks back at me. Then he shrugs his shoulders as he says:

I don't know.

What a tool.

In other news my employer is also named as a defendant in the suit. As they should because you'd have to be an idiot to just sue me. I don't have anything to give them. You gotta sue the people with the money, and my company certainly has some of that.

Now this tale doesn't fulfill my original criteria for blogging which was, it has to be "either funny and/or interesting" before I'll post it. This news bulletin is definitely neither. But, it is a chronicle, and it is most certainly on.