Save Face

Buried in a forgettable town in heartland China is a restaurant with only ten or so large tables, ill functioning electricity and no menu's. You eat whatever they bring. Having just finished the massive meal and the ample amount of toasts to coincide, my body is in a battle between feeling stuffed and feeling buzzed. My new Australian friend and his interpretor informed me that the constant toasting is a part of Chinese culture and generally everybody will toast, and will be toasted by every other person in the group or room. That amounts to a lot of drinking while your eating. Half the time your food is cold by the time you get back to it. Normally you would only socialize after the meal and drink much less or simply tea, but tonight was different. Tonight is a celebration. Tonight there are white people in town.

"We're twice their size you'd think we could take um on physics alone" Roger said. "Well I don't know you" I said, "but every Aussie I've ever known has been well respected in the pubs, so I have little doubt you'll be standing when this is over. If nothing else, we need to keep up foreign relations ya know? We're like those Ping-Pong guys that united the two sides, only we're here with boomerangs and shot glasses. And don't worry about me Roger. I'll be fine." "Who are the Ping-Pong guys?" Roger replied. Everybody in the room, myself included are standing and talking. We are holding our glass in one hand and either a liter of beer or some unmarked moonshine smellin shit in the other. "All we need to do is drink as much or more than them and don't lose face in the process." Roger looked at me like Ivan Drago in Rocky IV and added, "We won't lose".

Gumbei is the word and each time you toast you can say it and drink the whole glass. If your counterpart doesn't as well he looks bad. They are only 3 or 4 ounce glasses but you down one every couple minutes and then throw in some occasional rice extraction bullshit and well, you get the idea. You didn't have to but I decided to go with the "gumbei" strategy. Go big early and then try and save a little kick for the homestretch. I glanced at Roger and could see that he was already gaining respect. He downed them much faster than me.

2 hours later a few people have left but that didn't matter much. Roger and I were standing in the same exact spot we started in still withstanding the perpetual onslaught of toasts. They just kept coming at us. Maybe there were more of them and I only thought there were less? That was their strategy. I went with the gumbie thing and they went with, overwhelm you with numbers and secretly sub in guys who hadn't been drinking thing. Rogers friend and interpretor Jerry still remained as well. As well he should, these were his friends. At this point I'm just about teetering on the edge. You know the edge where on one side you've got this killer buzz and everything in your life is perfect and on the other side is the downward spiral to the scary place? I was easing up to it. If we continued on this pace I could be in trouble very shortly.

As soon as I think about that a man I recognized was standing in front of me again, this time instead of holding his glass and a bottle he's holding two bowls. Not rice bowls either. These are cereal bowls and they're filled to the brim. He hands one of them to me. We say gumbei and the Chinamen was fast. He immediately grabbed another bottle and his was filled up before I was finished with mine. I was as puzzled as I was concerned when I looked down to see him filling mine up again too. I thought he was going to walk away like the rest of them and go toast somebody else. Jerry leaned over and said "in China it's considered good luck if you do three." I looked at the man again and said, gumbei! I was much faster the second time, or maybe he was slower I don't know. Either way we were both feeling it afterwards. It took the guy much longer to fill up the bowls and by the time he was done everyone in the room was watching. I immediately said the magic word again and this time I had mine done first. The price I paid for it was crossing that line I spoke of earlier. I was fucked up but I knew it was time for the kill. I fed off his weakness and immediately grabbed another liter and started filling our bowls up again. When I was done I pulled Jerry over and said, "you tell him in America... we do 4". I held up four fingers and Jerry was laughing as he translated it. As soon as he stopped talking I banged the bowls together and I'll never forget the look on that guys face. "Gumbei"!

Roger had his arm draped around my neck as we walked out of the restaurant. The pitch black street didn't conceal our drunkenness. "We did it mate!" Roger said, "and "In America we do 4?" That was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant mate. Allies 1. China nill". "Yeah we did good,today" I said, hoping my words were understood by whomever was listening, "but even money our next challenge will be either Mahjong or Ping-Pong. Are you up for it mate?"
"What's Mahjong?"

I walked back to my quarters, stopping only to snap a photo I'd been meaning to.

Greetings from Beijing

This marks the first time I've had computer access since the last time we spoke, so I figured fuck it, I might as well check in. That is what bloggers do right? Check in from time to time?

My experience over the last 16 days has been amazing and I'm still going strong. I have not gotten sick like I thought I would, the only food I couldn't stomach was the stinky tofu in downtown Hong Kong and the most crucial error I've made is locking my suitcase keys in my suitcase. Lucky for me, that mistake was remedied by a 50 year old, butcher knife totting Sichuanese Lady.

Today I visited the Olympic Village. I paid the extra money and was able to venture inside the infamous Water Cube and Birds Nest. I also visited The Summer Palace. Most used by Empress Cixi, it was something of a recluse for a few different Emperors who found life in the Forbidden City too political. Being an Emperor must have been a tough life. There are so many beautiful things to see here. Tomorrow I will be visiting the Great Wall so I can check another World Wonder off the list.

For the past week I spent time in what I called the real China. Not the postcard China I find myself in now. Upon arriving here it was strange to see another white person. Interestingly, something saddened me about that. It almost cheapened the whole experience for me. Perhaps that should clue you in as to exactly how far out I ventured.

That being said I am starting to feel an itch to make it back to Las Vegas. I guess there is just something about that city for me. But, I still have a few stops to make and a lot more pictures to take. The most interesting of which might be my plan tomorrow to throw on my 96' summer tour T-shirt I made sure to bring along so I could snap a few photos at the Great Wall with it. Heads everywhere, and in a couple of weeks, back in Vegas.

Cheers, or as they say in these parts, Gumbei!

State of the blog/ger

So I guess it's getting on a year since I my last post. Insane how time flies. The hiatus was not intended but it happened and here I am logged into this thing for the first time in months. I would like to apologize about that and at the same time thank everybody for all of your support throughout this....well, whatever this is. I like the word "endeavor" but that sounds a bit much. This whole thing has been fun and I think it's high time we get back on the horse. I've had a few ideas floating around for a while now and some new stories to tell as well so let's see if we can make good on some promises.

In other news, you may have noticed the small advertisement that appeared here briefly. My thoughts on running ads have been stated before but I was approached with an offer I couldn't refuse. After 90 days, and presumably substantially less visits than the advertiser imagined, they chose not to renew the contract. If any other advertisers out there are interested in grossly overpaying me for a simple text ad shoot me an email, I am always willing to listen to your offers.


As far as the business is concerned, everything is way down for obvious reasons. I made the joke that Vegas isn't exactly the cure for being broke. My best guess is my personal numbers are down about 30% and I believe that to be as fare of a snapshot as to what's going on in the city as anything. That said this past weekend was one of the better weekends that I've had in a while and despite all the doom and gloom, I remain optimistic about our future. All this bullshit in the media has got everybody all riled up for no other reason than to further the agenda. As far as I'm concerned, the economy is more of a state of mind than it is anything actual. It's bad because we're told it is and we act our part.

As far as my personal life is concerned, well I guess I've never really discussed my personal life here now have I? I cant say I'm planning on starting now but that's not to say that it won't ever happen. I had planned on remaining largely anonymous but then again I've made some crucial errors along that path. Nonetheless I find it easier to be honest if nobody knows who I am. And if you want to know the truth, I also fear employer backlash. Once my driving days are are behind me, I might take that opportunity to give you the real low-down on how the cab business operates in this city. That wouldn't be such a good idea right now. Cab driving, and anonymity for that matter, are extremely volatile conditions.

Without being specific I will tell you that my time away from the cab is as enjoyable as it is worthwhile and you should know that I feel like I have a beautiful life. As cliche' as it may sound to just say "it's all in your mind", it just might be that simple. It makes more sense to focus on what you have as opposed to the opposite anyways. Doesn't it? In that vein the biggest news of late is that I'll be vacationing in the far east for a month and I'm leaving very soon. I'm very excited. Picture me buried in a mosh of bus tourists sporting UNLV gear, a digital camera, at least two brochures all while mispronouncing local landmarks and worrying that my Cabbie is taking me the long way. Talk about ultimate role reversals. And speaking of role reversals, I plan on hitting the ground running on this motherfucker after I get back.

Thanks for reading

XLI

Some say that the Fremont St. corridor downtown Las Vegas is a bad neighborhood. It's usually an uninformed tourist that doesn't make it into the big city very often making the proclamation. I suppose four years ago I would have been equally misguided but nowadays I personally think the idea is a misnomer. The number of homeless in the area is practically the sole reason for the misconception. It's not like people are getting mugged or killed in front of Binions. Even east of the BLVD. on Fremont, which in years past was a little sketchy, has improved a lot recently. (Hey Goodman, nice work there buddy. How many terms did that take you?) Nonetheless the homeless can be a bit cumbersome. Thankfully, I'm generally in a good mood so I don't really let them bother me. I mean they bother me, but only for the dollar they're short for the bus, to wash my windows or to offer up some of their stolen goods. Mach 3 razor blade replacements, 50 packs of AAA batteries or my personal favorite, DVD porno. Why is DVD porno my favorite you ask? Well it's not because I patronize the guy on a regular basis, although I have on a couple of occasions. It's more just the idea that there is some dude toting a suitcase full of porno for sale always walking around. Always open for business. I can't help you if you don't think that's funny. As relentless as some of the homeless are about money grubbing, I'm still usually good for handing out a dollar a day. One dollar. And only if it's right.

I was on the Nugget stand on Carson St. not to long ago. I was Fourth or fifth in line so I had enough time to take my Mothers call when it came. Mom likes to check in every so often, I'm sure she worries. Although there are a lot of misconceptions about the cab driving gig, most of the potential dangers are quite real. I was amidst a sentence with Mom when a loud mouth, smelling like ass, piece of shit jams his head through my half retracted window and practically yelled:

CAN I GET SOME CHANGE MAN?!...

I responded solely with a cut throat gesture, for I know that to be the universal signal for piss off.

C'MON MAN, I JUST SHORT A DOLLAR FOR THE BUS! HELP ME OUT.

I just stared at him. ...

Mom, hold on a second.

and I placed my phone down to my lap.

....HEY ASSHOLE! YOU'RE INTERRUPTING ME. My cab is starting to smell like shit so get your stankin ass out of here!

Seriously, there is a way to go about things. You would think if your being depended on asking other people for money all the time, you would figure that the fuck out.

FUCK YOU man. You could help me out you just don't want to.

Genius my friend!

and I clapped a few times unenthusiastically.

I picked my phone back up and as I was bringing it to my ear the bum starting walking away. Naturally, he had some more choice words for me along his way. His mouth seemed to get louder as he got farther away and then he said something that just got to me. I couldn't even remember what exactly he said to tell you the truth but the next thing I knew I was pissed off and I got out of the cab and made my way his direction. Four years ago I never would have been in this situation. Four years ago, I would have been in the cab, windows up, doors locked.

Where are you going? Say that over here buddy I can't hear you.

I'll kick yo ass fat boy.

Say that over here. If you wanna be a tough guy, you gotta come over here and say that. You're a pussy when you talk shit over there.

FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKER! I'LL BE BACK WITH MY GUN IN A MINUTE...I'LL FUCKIN KILL YOUR ASS. I'LL BE OVER THERE IN A FEW MINUTES ALRIGHT?

OH, YOU'RE GONNA TAKE THE BUS THAT YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO THE CARDBOARD BOX YOU CALL HOME TO GET YOUR GUN THAT YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE? IF YOU HAD A GUN YOU WOULD HAVE PAWNED IT A LONG TIME AGO.

I yelled as he disappeared around the corner on Casino Center. I stood there for a few seconds before I realized that my phone was still in my left hand.

Sorry Mom. Are you still there?

I said as I began walking back to the cab.

OH MY GOD Andrew did that guy say he was going to shoot you???

Mom said very distraught.

Don't worry about it Mom. He doesn't have a gun.

How do you know?

Mom. It's ok.

Why didn't you just give him a dollar? It's not smart to make enemies with crazy people.

Four years ago Mom, I probably would have.

XL

Much like, the more you learn...The more I see in the taxi, the more I realize that I haven't seen anything. Just when experiences are realized and the looming clouds of mundaneness cross my mind, something happens that completely takes me by surprise.

The doorman at the Mirage blew his whistle and I pulled up the 25 feet or so to find him waiting to open the door for a young and attractive brunette wearing a formal black dress and high heeled shoes. She held her sequence laden purse with both hands. Our eyes met before I even came to a stop and it was clear to me that there was something wrong. I brought the cab to a stop and the doorman grabbed the handle of the rear door to assist the young lady in. Just as she was about to place her left foot in the cab and begin to climb in she asked the whistle toting man:

Actually, is it ok if I sit in the front?

The doorman asked me if it was and of course, I have no problems with that. Not for of any ulterior reason. Just the simple truth that, I have no problems with that. In fact with my depleted hearing these days, I find conversing much easier when you're sitting right next to me anyway. The doorman opened the other door and I threw my carry on bag that usually rests on the seat in the back and pulled the other arm rest down.

She sat down and told me her destination as the doorman closed the door. I jotted the information on my tripsheet, engaged the meter and we began our way off the Mirage property to head Southbound on the BLVD. We sat at the light exiting the Mirage, patiently waiting for the light to change and the pedestrians to clear the way. As easy as it would have been to start things with small talk, for some reason or another I had yet to say a single word to the girl. Her only words to me were "Luxor please". Anything more just didn't seem right at the time.

Finally making our way onto the crowded strip, I decided it was time to break the silence. Or perhaps it just took me that long to find the words.

Do you want to talk about it?

I said as I looked at her. She returned the glance but contradicted her face with her reply:

No.

I suppose if the tides were turned, I wouldn't want to talk to me about it either. Whatever in the world it was. Her one word reply as she turned her eyes away and returned them to the ground was a good enough clue to deduct that trying to form any kind of false conversation thereafter would have been as pointless as it was classless. So I chose another method. I decided to break the silence by turning up just a little, the James Taylor Greatest Hits CD that I had brought along with me that evening. I've found that I like something mellow every now and again. A minute or so passed and from her continued silence, I concluded that I had made the right decision.

We finally made it to the stoplight at Flamingo at about the same time Country Road filled our ears. That was when I felt her hand on top of mine. To reserved, nervous or anxious to open her mouth, she made moving her left hand over from her armrest to mine seem effortless.

Startled is the right word but thankfully that lasted for just an instant. I turned to look at her. Her head pulled up slightly and after her eyes slowly made their way to mine, they asked for my permission. We looked at each other. I pulled my hand and my eyes away, but just long enough to push my arm underneath hers and interlock my right fingers with her left ones firmly. I looked at her again. This is ok.

The Flamingo light changed to green and the brunette and I held hands the rest of the way. I only removed my hand from hers twice briefly simply to ensure that we heard my two favorite James Taylor songs along the way, Walking Man & There's Something In The Way She Moves. They seemed alright. It seemed alright too.

We pulled up the front door of the Luxor, still having said basically nothing to one another. She reached in her purse, found a twenty dollar bill and placed it on my dashboard. She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek and whispered after a lips pressed, forced grin:

Thank you.

She left me and I watched her every step toward the front door of the hotel. She never turned back. You Can Close Your Eyes played on the radio, and it filled my depleted ears.