Saturday Night Forum (shops)

Saturday is the money night for a cabbie in Vegas. I would imagine it's the money night for cabbies most anywhere. I don't care who you are. If you actually put in a good days work on a Saturday night shift you will walk home with $200. That's a given. If you're any good at all that should get you close to $300. Saturdays are also good because it's your best night to make true side monies. If you're good enough to work some magic your nights take could soar well over $300.

So this should tell you that Saturday's are very B-U-S-Y. You'll average 3 rides an hour no problem. Hopefully 4. Now some people tell me that doesn't sound like a lot. But, if you think about it, at 3 rides/hr: That gives you 20min/ride. All factors included (there are to many to list) that is not a lot of time. For reference, last Saturday I had 50 rides.

One of those 50 was actually the reason for me posting today so I'll get to it.

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I was clearing at the Forum shops downstairs @ Caesars to find about 10 or so people all trying to flag me after my passengers got out. This is what makes Saturdays great. You can do drop and picks like they are going out of style. I loaded a white lady mid 30's, blue sweater, blue jeans. Carrying two fistfulls of bags. More than one person should reasonably carry. I pop the trunk, hop out and grab a couple of them from her.

Here, lets put these in the trunk.

That's ok, lets put them in the backseat

Fine. So I helped her put the bags in and off we go.

She gives a destination of Mandalay bay. Im just pulling out of the tunnel at Caesars, maybe 100 yards. She asks:

Do you take credit cards?

Fuck me. I hate this shit. Don't you think that might have been a good question to ask... I don't know, maybe before I helped you put all your crap in the cab and turned the meter on? You're inconsiderate or you're stupid. Either way I don't like you.

Not a single cab in Las Vegas can accept Credit Cards. Cash only (and some airline vouchers). So there is that problem which comes up often but more importantly I now have a lady in the cab with no fucking money.

No I cant take credit. I take it you don't have any cash?

Fumbles through her purse:

I have 3 bucks

I look at the meter: $3.45

(lady)

Is there a Wells Fargo near MB?

Im pissed. This lady is gonna cost me a half an hour, at least. I know it. As we've covered, a Saturday night is the night you don't want to be dealing with shit like this. Fuck, on a slow day you'd be in the phonebook finding the farthest Wells Fargo possible. But on a Saturday, it's all about time. Nickel and dime it all night. Small rides and a lot of them. Get 50 rides. That's 50 opportunities to get a tip.

So the last thing I want to do is drive off the strip to a bank. Its absurd, I know.

So the only other option is to wait at the door of MB while she runs inside. This option sucks too but I went with this because I had the bags for collateral and it seemed like it would be the most time efficient.

I'll just wait for you to run inside at MB.

At this point we were just leaving Caesars turning onto SB Frank Sinatra and I wouldn't say another word to her the rest of the ride. She could tell prior to that I was mad so I saw no point in making small talk now. She didn't say another word either.

We pull up to the back door at MB. I told her exactly where to find the ATM from the door I was dropping her at and also that the bags would be staying with me. As she's getting out:

What's your name?

What's my name?

Obvioulsy she thinks now that I'm gonna take off with her bags. Or something.

Listen lady I don't what your nasty ass threads ok? I just want my $8.70 plus tip. And perhaps you didn't notice that my first name is posted in plain site in the cab. Along with my last name, and a host full of other pieces of information that might become useful to you in a time like this. But you're to busy not getting into Mensa.

She walks inside and I look at the clock: 7:22.

At this exact moment a shitton of people start walking out of the MB. Amazing. So as I'm sitting here, cab after cab after cab is driving by me and loading. I knew that was gonna happen. I start hoping that this lady will return soon and that she gives me 20 bucks for my troubles. I don't think a $11 tip is out of the question in this situation. After all, your costing me money right now and that's fucked up.

7:33 she returns. Nice. 11 minutes, I got off easy.

She walked right up to my window while flipping through a stack of twenties and hands me 3 of them, then opens the back door and starts grabbing her bags.

Do you want help with those!

No I got it

She gets all the bags, two fistfulls, and then winks at me as she's walking away.

It's confirmed. I suck.

At least there was another ride waiting for me. Back to work.

I picked up a drunk guy at Caesars last night

He got in the cab.

Can you take me to Caesars?

I laughed out loud for about a minute.

I'm glad you think that's funny...can you take me to Caesars now?

At this point I'm sure some drivers would say ok, and then proceed to drive around town, run his meter up and then bring him back. But that's just not my style, and besides this was to much fun.

well?

I'm sorry I don't think I can do that

Why not?

Caesars sucks man. I couldnt in good conscious take you somewhere that sucks.

What the fuck man?

I can take you to the Hard Rock if want, I'm certain you would have fun there.

But all my friends are at Caesars!

Well your friends must suck then if they're hanging out there. You should get some new friends...at the Hard Rock

FUCK YOU! I don't want to get new friends. I want to meet my current friends at Caesars

I guess I figured that if I kept on him, he would eventually figured it out. But he never faltered. It was amazing.

You don't need to yell at me sir. ......I don't know what to tell you. How about Mandalay Bay? That place is cool, I'm sure you could meet some cool people there.

Are you gonna take me to Caesars or not?

No man, we went over this already. I can take you to the Hard Rock or Mandalay Bay though.

Fuck the Hard Rock. Fuck Mandalay Bay. And FUCK YOU TOO!

..and he gets out of my cab. I pull up a little to watch where he went next. He walked up to the next cab and got in the backseat. They sat there for a second then they pulled off, meter on.

Fuck me? I was doing you a favor man.

XIX

I loaded at 16. Clean cut gentleman. Mid 30's dressed in a nice suit.

I've gotta get to the Venetian and Im in a big hurry, Im late for a meeting.

Im in a big hurry too.

My usual response when someone tells me they're in a rush.

So I decided to take the freeway instead of the surface streets. A longer route, albeit a faster one. Now any idiot in town knows that if there is one place in Vegas you don't speed, it's at the airport. I've gotten one ticket in almost 2 years at the helm and it was at the port. I ignored my better judgment in the hopes of being compensated accordingly upon arriving at our destination quickly.

So I'm laying the funk down through the airport tunnel. Going upwards of 90mph in a 55mph zone. Weaving in and out of traffic not using my signals.

Just as I'm about to merge onto I-215west I spot in the rearview a metro, lights on, in my lane at least a couple of football fields behind me.

Decision time: The cop is most likely after you. Who else could he be after? So do you stick around and find out.....or try and lose him?

Just as I'm merging to the right onto the beltway I knew that I would have about 10 seconds were he would lose sight of me.

Hey, I'm sorry man....you're gonna be late for your meeting

What? Why? What are you talking about?

There is a cop barreling down on us right now with his lights on...I'm guessing he's after us...I don't feel like sticking around to find out so we're taking a detour....put your seatbelt on.

Are your serious? (turns around and looks)...holy crap dude you're crazy. ....yeah man lose him.

After all what did he have to lose? Besides that if we did get pulled over he would be even more late to his meeting.

So I gun it picking up speed as we're making the big sweeping right turn to merge onto I-215. Thankfully there is an exit right at the apex of the turn, out of the sight of the cop at this point I jumped off this exit which is a small side street used mostly for people needing to go to the Rental Car agencies right around there.

Fuck me man you are crazy

..coming up to an intersection I'm on the brakes hard to make a right turn onto a street that runs inbetween the two car rental places. I floor it about two blocks up and then make a left into Alamo RAC. I fly past the customer dropoff, cruising through two lanes of parked rental cars. On my left is a group of full size white vans as I'm flying though them I notice that there is an empty spot. So I come to a screeching stop, and back into the empty space. I was driving a explorer that day so the height of my cab with the sign on top and the vans were about perfect. I turned my lights off.

It was like that space had been put there just for me. I notice a lot attendant standing by the office looking right at me. Certainly wondering what the fuck it was I was doing. Just as I looked away from him, my eyes go back to the mirrors just in time to see copper cruise by at a high rate of speed. It was like it was right out of the movies.

He's after us alright....you're right, I am fucking crazy

Whatever man this is AWESOME!

Thinking the cop wouldn't double back. I gave it a 30 count and then got back on the street going the opposite direction of the cop. The way we had come in. Made a right on the side street, then left on Bermuda, left on Warm Springs and then back on the 215WB.

All in all, only costing my passenger a couple of minutes.

Ten minutes later we pull into the Venetian. Guy gives me 50 bucks for a $25 dollar meter.

You're the best cab driver I've ever had man. That was incredible....is there somebody I can call or write a letter to for a commendation?

Thanks, but that's ok. I don't think anybody else needs to know about this.

One of my supervisors told me a good one.

Some time ago when my cab company had far less cabs to account for they had a problem with one that they couldn't find. They knew that the cab had been taken out for the night shift and knew which driver was driving it. For some reason mgmt. needed to talk to the guy, but he wasn't answering the radio or his cell phone. An APB of sorts was put out over the radio to ask all the other drivers to keep an eye out for him. Hours passed and nobody had spotted the guy, so the owner of the company finally instructed a couple of the supervisors to stop by the guys house perchance to find him and or the cab.

Sure enough when they get to the guys house the cab is parked in the driveway. They knocked on the door and nobody answered. One of them tried the door and it was unlocked so they let themselves in. As they walked in they heard the driver yelling from the bedroom in the back. They walk through the house and into the bedroom to find the driver butt-naked handcuffed to the bed. Arms handcuffed to the headboard of the bed and legs handcuffed to the footboard of the bed. Like a giant X.

The driver informed the sups that he had given a hooker a ride who didn't have money for the fair. So they agreed to go back to his house to exchange sex for the meter amount. At which point the hooker convinced the driver to let her handcuff him to the bed. Being the smart guy that he was he allowed her to do it. Shortly thereafter she left the scene but certainly not before robbing him of his book money and rummadging through the house for other valuables.

My supervisors didn't find the guy until hours had passed.

Me:

that's fuckin funny....how did you guys get the handcuffs undone?

Sup:

We didn't even try, we took the keys for the cab and left him there

I mean shit, everybody knows that if you're going to let the hooker handcuff you to the bed you always leave one hand free and an extra key in the bedside table. That's day 1 stuff.

I was staging at the Mirage last night.

It was about midnight and it was just slowing down for the evening. I was sitting about tenth in line fooling around with my new cellphone as a Lucky cab pulls up next to me that's loaded with these 4 good looking girls. Lucky cab rolls his window down and asks:

Hey man, do you have any passes for JET?

JET is the newest and hottest nightclub in town at the Mirage. They just opened on NYE and like anything else in Vegas it will be the hotspot until another new one opens up. Its not uncommon at all for cabbies to get club passes. You can get them from a variety of means. Usually from the call-girl agencies or sometimes promoters will be handing them out for free to cabbies that are staging. The passes offer the holder free admission into the said club. Generally saving the person at least $20 but now most places are charging $30 to get in which is the case with JET. They are meant as promotional tools for the clubs. The want as many people waiting in line as possible. The cabbies are supposed to hand them out for free in an attempt to increase your tip and spread the word about the club at the same time. However most of us sell them. And why not? If you can get a passenger a pass for $10, you just saved them $20. Plus you make a little on the side. Especially if you were going to wait in line anyway. Unfortunately, many cabbies will lie about what the passes get you in a attempt to sell more of them.

I have a lot of passes for about 15 different night spots in town that I carry in a ziplock bag in my carry on. I immediately knew what this guy was trying to do so I decided to help a brother out.

I think so, lemme check.

As I'm searching through my ziplock, lucky driver gets out and walks around to my cab and kinda sticks his head in and said quietly:

What do you want for 4 of them man?

ahhh...Ill give you 4 for $10

I easily could have doubled that price. But what the hell, it's the easiest ten bucks I would make all night.

Sure enough I had the passes, he threw me a 20 and I gave him a 10 back and four JET passes.

I never thought twice about it.

Twenty minutes later I'm second in line now. I got out to stretch a little and enjoy the beautiful evening. Im talking to a couple of tourists that had just asked me a few questions as I hear in the distance a females voice.

THERE HE IS!!!

I turn my head and see these same 4 girls just walking out the front door headed my direction not looking to happy. The leader of the group gets in my face.

WHAT THE FUCK?

Excuse me?

FUCKING JET IS CLOSED TONIGHT AND THEY LET GIRLS IN FOR FREE ANYWAY....

Oh

(I knew that JET wasn't open this night, but in all honesty, that thought hadn't entered my mind 20 minutes ago. As far as the girls in for free thing, I think that varies greatly, but again not something that entered my brain 20 minutes ago)

YOU SOLD US BUNK PASSES. YOU OWE US FORTY BUCKS!

I laughed out loud.

I didn't sell you anything

Whatever...THAT OTHER CAB DRIVER SOLD THEM TO US, WE SEEN HIM GIVE YOU $20 FOR THEM!!!

Actually, I sold him four passes for $10, what you guys worked out is between y'all

WELL GIVE US THE $10 THEN!

She's still yelling and now everyone waiting for the tram to Ti is now watching the scene unfold. Im sure all of which are siding with these hotties. I don't know, maybe I was in the wrong here but there is no way I was giving these chicks a dime.

No. You're out of your mind and Im not giving you anything. You need to take it up with your cab driver.

Who of course is long gone now.

It's an unfortunate situation but certainly not one that Im gonna make right.

Now cab in front of me gets a ride and Im on the nut so I hop in the cab to pull forward. As im getting in the cab leader of the pack gets on her cellphone (presumably with the cops) as she instructs the others to "get my cab number". I think she thought I was fleeing the scene. (LOL) After pulling up 15 feet I put the cab in park and get back out.


My empathy turns to annoyance.

you're calling the cops?

yep

And what do you think that's gonna accomplish?

they're are gonna come here and make you give us 40 bucks

Now I laugh out loud even louder this time. These girls are delusional.

Doorman blows the whistle.

Well, what you should have done was gotten the cab # of the guy who sold them to you...or better yet not believe some line of crap ...lemme know what you and the cops figure out.

I get back in the cab, drive away and pull up to the pickup spot. A young, cool looking couple gets in and dont give a destination.

hey do you know what nightclubs are going on right now?

Back to work.